ku hanya berharap,
kita kan kembali,
selah waktu,
hidupku tanpamu,

kusedari,
kaulah segalanya,
namun kini,
engkau telah pergi,

menutup mataku,
ku hanya melihatmu,
wajahmu ayu,
jadi hatiku sayu,

tuhan kumencintai dia,
titisan air mata,
tidak mencukupi,
tuhan kuperlukan dia,
pergi takkan kembali,
aku hanya berharap dia,
bahgia

school was damn boring today...i think a few people know why?? early in the mornin...wasn't feeling well at all....after morning assembly, i went to the toilet and "bluergh".... if u know wat i mean....then during physics lesson....i went to the toilet again and "bluergh" again.......just wasnt feeling so good in the stomach...during malay class, had to do the stupid dialog thing...sory diyanah for pestering u to help me....haha...siket tak tau je tanye dier....kesian sey...dier nak buat keje pon tak boleh...then after school, haziqah invited me to go o pizza hut and eat...i guess she wanted to cheer me up or somethin....went with, haziqah, sharizan, shabana, syafiq and liyana...while eating...dina came to pass me her physics fys....so nice of her...thnks dinzie....

i had to leave the guys early to go for my soccer training....the soccer training was wet!! very wet...got to play the leftback position...damn tired sak....and i got alot of cuts...balek umah at around 7.30...and headed for the toilet to bluergh!!!...now i feel like shit....so weak...so tired....ths it i guess....thnks faz and fidah for makin me feel better..and to nura who helped me sabar abit(calm myself) durin school.....thnks guys....i still feel like...nvm....ok ah..i guess this is my life now....so empty....got to get used to this...take care people...

wah...very the tired man...was sittin at home...very the bored2...so decided to kol fidah up...i also wanted to give her somethin she asked me to buy...so met her at cozway point and we headed out to civic's library...not that many people there...many of the apeks were sleepin in the library....(take tht cekgu bayah!!)...then we went to the second floor...to find a quiet place to study...both of us took out our mathematics book and started...fun sey...i even lay myself down on the floor...haha....then there was this group of poly students i think....so the kecoh and biseng...cannot tahan sey...after a while...fidah got bored i guess...and then she took one of the sherlock holmes books and started readin...she read quite fast sak...respect sama lu!!..

then we headed to cozway point....where i went to release my frustations...or in other words...to shit...hehe...fidah put on her make up in the meantime...i finished first...can u believe it?? i shit faster then she put on make up?? wow....then after dat we went our seperate ways....

its so funny how life goes...one minute life is so good, full of happiness...and then the next....all is gone...suddenlky ur so lonely....having nobody.... all i wanna say is...i love her...

i am confused...dazed...given up all hopes of recovering the love i have lost....only now i know the true meaning of love...its not about hugs and kisses, not about saying i love u to one another...its about what u feel when u look into her eyes...i looked into hers...saw my own reflection...made me feel secured and warm....her eyes lit up my darkness...i have succumbed to the darkness tht has loomed my world ever since she left....its so hard to tell her how i feel, scared of hurting the only girl i love, again.....a special girl is a gem in every guy's heart, i will never lose her as mine...i have made a mistake, thinkin slowly, i am afraid, i would redo tht mistake tht drove her away...destiny will settle everything, i guess her destiny doesnt have my name on it.....i hope she is happy....just as hapy as how i portray myself to be...in the inside, i am burning in sadness, confusion...i love her, i got to do the right thing...sometimes doing the right is not doing right thing....every nite i feel like shes the only person in the world...to me, she is the only one tht i care so much about...i miss her...i love everything about her....her smile, her eyes, the way she talks, walks, her voice...everything...i regret not cherishing her when i got the chance...its over now....so is my life...i have lost all directions in life....i dont know where to go...what to do....all i could think about is her happiness...love is about being together....through joy and sadness....i guess i have to face reality...shes gone, and she will probably never come back...i miss her so much, no words in the dictionary can describe how much i miss her...the pictures of me are gone, everything was back to the way it was before we got together...i am happy tht shes moving on...but deep inside, i am not...i am hurting so bad, it seems like theres no tommorrow....time passes by so slowly nite, only stretching my pain...when i'm with her, time seems to run....so fast, tht i could not catch up.....its really over....i cant believe it, i got to throw away all the dreams i had about marryin her, lovin and takin care of her....i miss her so...but shes happy now, livin her life the way she wants....all i wanna say is tht, i love u....eventhough my words cannot make u come back....i want u to know, tht there is no girl ouit there tht can make me feel this way, i swear...all i have to give is myself, it will never be good enough...u deserve better...but wat i can tell u truthfully is...no one will love u like i do, i apologise for my mistakes, but i will never apologise for loving u....

just got back from camp...it was wonderful...tiring like hell...but the camp gave me a chance to bond even closer with my buddies...the first day of camp...shouted alot...its hard to get the attention of 20 people...but my group was wonderful...with my bro faqih...i enjoyed myself alot...thnks bro for makin me feel better ....btw...all my bros made me feel better...everyone listened to my probs...thnks guys...and girls...

the first day, had alot of cheers and ice breaker games...went to the field and was drenched by zubair...he hugged me when he was all wet...makin me wet...fish u zubair!! haha...no lah love u bro!! then we had to go home coz the teachers didnt allow us to sleep in school...so a group of us went to east coast park to sleep...me, hairi, ismail, taufiq, hyder, divya, mira, firah, hana, faqih and seri went there...it was cold in the morning...i was really runnin out of ciggs...haha...really gave a chance to clear my mind....lookin at the sea at night..made me realize how beautiful she is, she couldnt even compare to the beauty of the sea...anyways...had to wake up really early...to get to school.......took a bus and i dont know wat happened...i think i sleep walked the whole way...thnks firah for everything aite...then we had the camp fire...then bla3 lazy to type haha..ok lah...thts it i guess...thnks fidah, hana, firah and also faqih for hearin my problems...i love u guys...thnks...