i feel different....very different...i dont know what it is....but i feel dead. i dont know what being dead feels like but im sure how i feel right now is pretty close to it...

past few days have been shit....yup i do seem ok in my previous post but i left alot of details out...nobody likes the feeling of loving but seeing the other happy with someone else...having given your whole life to her to only find out that ur not even the least important...it hurts the shit out of me...

years and years of love to crumble into a splatter of dust...oh yeah life cannot get any better...im having the time of my life...it is so good that i cant do anything properly....its so good that sometimes i wish im dead....ive learnt a valuable lesson through all this, LOVE SUCK!

nah just kidding, ive learnt that it takes two hands to clap and two hearts to love. yeah it sucks being given false or pretentious love....but u know...i guess its just the story of my life...

went to esplanade on national day to watch the fireworks....apart from the fireworks itself, i gazed at all the sweet couples holdin hands, the guy pointing to the sparkle in the sky. its as though he was pointing at the sparkle of true love he has for his girlfriend. thts sweet and all but imagine me.....heartbroken....pissed off.....dumped.....watching all the sweet couples.....at that point of time....I WISHED I HAD A GUN TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE EYE...

oh well....story goes on rite?? its not forgetting the past...but i guess its about looking back and trying not to hate it but learn something from it...

chiaoz....