N.A.G.A

ola september!!!

2009-09-01T00:00:00.000-07:00

wah piang...september coming soon yall....wow....i cant believe time is passing by so quickly...

updates:

well nothing much has changed....been very busy with exams...now its finally over!!! wohooo!!! 2months of holidays!!! wow!! at last i can have abit of rest...hmm...but i think im gonna fail one of the papers so maybe im gonna have to retake that paper soon...

im quite nervous about tmrw....early in the morning i have to go ubi cdc to take my rtt...pls god let me pass!!??!! then after taking my rtt i have to take prac 5 for class 2b...aiyo...very nervous...dnt want to fail....waste time and money...oh well...hope all goes well tmrw....its gonna be nerve wrecking.

also, hoping to go back to work...im broke and i really miss my banquet colleagues....hope to c u guys soon yar...

i guess thats it...till my next post...tc friends...

dead man walking...

2009-08-17T22:32:00.000-07:00

i feel different....very different...i dont know what it is....but i feel dead. i dont know what being dead feels like but im sure how i feel right now is pretty close to it...

past few days have been shit....yup i do seem ok in my previous post but i left alot of details out...nobody likes the feeling of loving but seeing the other happy with someone else...having given your whole life to her to only find out that ur not even the least important...it hurts the shit out of me...

years and years of love to crumble into a splatter of dust...oh yeah life cannot get any better...im having the time of my life...it is so good that i cant do anything properly....its so good that sometimes i wish im dead....ive learnt a valuable lesson through all this, LOVE SUCK!

nah just kidding, ive learnt that it takes two hands to clap and two hearts to love. yeah it sucks being given false or pretentious love....but u know...i guess its just the story of my life...

went to esplanade on national day to watch the fireworks....apart from the fireworks itself, i gazed at all the sweet couples holdin hands, the guy pointing to the sparkle in the sky. its as though he was pointing at the sparkle of true love he has for his girlfriend. thts sweet and all but imagine me.....heartbroken....pissed off.....dumped.....watching all the sweet couples.....at that point of time....I WISHED I HAD A GUN TO SHOOT MYSELF IN THE EYE...

oh well....story goes on rite?? its not forgetting the past...but i guess its about looking back and trying not to hate it but learn something from it...

chiaoz....

memories...

2009-08-12T23:26:00.000-07:00

its been two months since i updated....well thts better than 1 year rite...

the topic for today is memories....but before that...a little update from my life's occurences....

well i turned 18....and stupidly enrolled for bike liscence....i suck at riding bikes...cant get it dont know why....anyways my 18th birthday was a blast....not as i hoped for...but it was nice....brothers were there, yi qin, vivien, lina, and my beloved sister bunny(got drunk and puked)....it was real fun.

we headed down to pasir ris park to drink...pls, wat i just told u is top secret...pls dont tell my mother....

ive been slacking alot in school lately, just finished wrapping up projects last week....tonnes of weight off my shoulders. now all i have to worry about is my exams at the end of the month....oh well, guess being a student is a never ending career.

ok now back to topic...."memories"...

have u guys ever been woken up by a dream that was in fact reality from your past? well i was...im not going to say wat sweet memory i dreamt of but it kind of made me sad...

i miss secondary school, all my buddies...and sistas....those were the days when teachers actually care...carrying heavy books on the first day of school, putting them under the desk so that for the rest of the period before exams, u dont have to bring anymore books to school....ah those were the fun days. now everything is about being independent, earning your own money, buying your own stuff, being responsible for your own life....i dont know if im ready for that yet....but i guess life is simply complicated....u will never get what u want, but life somehow gives you wat you need...

transformers da bomb!!!

2009-06-25T07:33:00.000-07:00

wow!!! wow!!! wow!!! hellllloooo yall.....i dont know why but im so hyped up rite now.....just watched transformers 2 with ridwan....it was da bomb!!! power i tell you...and megan fox......hhooooooooooweeeeee!!! the movie was well worth my last 6 bucks....the special effects, the storyline, totally owns!!!!

okok....so im abit too excited....but who the fuck cares...the movie was fuckin awesome....ive been waiting for over a year for this movie and it was worth the wait.....superb!!!

so i met ridwan at downtown east, then watched the movie.....met Don afterwards....played poker and now here i am...at home....i guess thats about it.....

projects!!! projects!!! projects!!!

2009-06-23T23:27:00.000-07:00

one bad thing about law and management is that there is nothing good about it!!! hahaha....
i don't wtf im thinkin rite now...i cnt think straight...just finished doin 3/4 of my work for this week and i am bum freakinly tired....

so many projects to do.... so little time...so many exams and tests comin up....si little time to study...
oh well...at least im not dead rite?? im beginning to question myself whether being dead rite now is better than school?? i guess i'll never kknow until im actually dead...

i ended up going to school for a 1 hour class.....thats it!!! fuckin waste of time...went to school at 9 am, met my project mates....did a little facebooking and then just slacked all the way till french lesson at 2....went to eat at macdonalds with wen da and after that we found out that our french teacher was quarantined for possible H1N1 case....OMG!!!

waste my time wait until 2 pm....i guess this virus outbreak is really serious huh....quite a number of people with it in Singapore....at first i thought that it wasnt so serious but now...im terrified of cathchin it myself...

anyways me, wen da and rui hao decided to go catch a movie at tampines mall....and so we did...otw there, bumped into haz and her friend....she ask me to blanja her movie but in the end she decided not to follow us....haiyo!!! fickle minded!!! anyways, we watched pelham 123....it was okok lah...but very entertaining....

now im tired and sleepy....so before i go to bed...just wanna say to u sorry ass loosers who are reading my blog....hehe... thank u and gd night....

update of the year...

2009-06-09T23:37:00.000-07:00

whats happenin yall...haha

i dono where to begin in this update...
so much has been goin on it makes my head spin thinkin about all the stuff i wanna put down on this post.

well let me start with anugerah, the most fucked up decision of my life...i joined, made it through the first round, fell out on the second...well i learned alot from that experience. i learned that the stage is bigger once ur on it and u will shake without having control over ur body. haha, one of the most scariest experiences of my life, but it was the most enriching one.

i just wanna say thnks to kak su, my parents, joshua, nabilah, brother irfan and kak yati for givin me their support.

MOVING ON...

my exams just ended, and this time, i really did study. hopefully i will do better than the previous time. school has been gr8...my new classmates have been the most friendliest of people...school is a breeze if ur in a good class. now almost everywhere i go, u would find me with Wen Da or better known as hakim... haha. my new best friend...

MOVING ON...

my dad told me he was going to have an operation done to his shoulder becoz of a tear in his muscle. damn.... doctors said recovery period would be about 9 months....thts fucked up....without him workin, hows my family goin to survive...

ive been thinkin about getting a night job, anybody who knows of a night job pls tag or call me....

oh well, i guess this is life and we got to face it...

its april already??? wow!!

2009-04-14T22:33:00.000-07:00

its april of 2009!!! holy shit!!! hahaha....i guess im still in 2008 kinda mood...alot has happened since the year began....alot has changed in my life...mostly for the worst...but what is a guy to do other than to face these challenges as they come.....

day by day.... stress has been pilling up....more to my financial situation....ive lost a friend i trusted for years and years....but as they say....friends come and go but family will always be there....im begining to believe that now....

work has been like fuck as usual, being treated differently than the rest, but thats normal for me i guess...being pushed around, being cursed at.....all in a day's work....im just not cool enough i guess....but all i can do is to just take a deep breath and remember why im working....to get the money and help my parents out, to pay my school fees, to pay for my books, to pay my handphone bill, to pay for my daily food and transport expenses, to give my mom some money....and to help my brother out whenever i can....

sometimes i wonder at such a young age, why should i be carriying this weight on my shoulder...but i will always realize that if i cant support myself, i wont be able to help my parents.

people are fast to say that im poor or whenever im the only one at work whose not having lunch, they will say..."why? no money ah?" ....yeah its shameful, its embarrasing, but hey, im not shameful of being poor, im shameful of working with people who think that they are everything in this world.....try supporting urself for 3 years and u'll know my situation.

im not saying that i have a harder life than others but im just saying, financially, no one can tell me that their life is harder than mine....

Today at work...

2009-03-15T23:41:00.000-07:00

wah piang!!! today started work at 8 am...didnt get enough sleep....i woke up feeling like a freakin zombie....

as soon as i opened my eyes...i said " shit!!!"....i was having a huge headache...but what could i do...work is work...and money is money...

had alot of fun today...slacked for most of the day.....nothing much today....after work, grabbed myself 2 cheeseburgers from mac and stuffed myself....i was so damn hungry i could have eaten a cow. well...not really a cow ah but u know what i mean....

when i came home...talk to my buddy for awhile and then here i am....haha....

work was fun ah....have to save up money for somethin.....hmm....

i wish life wasnt this hard....oh well.....

its 2009 now!!!

2009-03-14T21:10:00.000-07:00

!!!...wow....!!!

How long has it been since i last posted?? geez!! Anyways its 2009 now and alot has changed since my last post....
got promoted at work....
finished my first year of polytechnic life...
now just enjoying my holidays by sweating at work...
woohooo...

Today is my off day and i decided to tweak my blog a lil bit...Kinda like startin somethin new...a new chapter in life...turning over a new leaf...and well...u get it lah...

i just realised that i suck at computers...it took me 2 hours to get my template right...thts pathetic dont you guys think?? haha...

hmm...now my life has been complicated by my own feeling and external events in my family...
my family moved to tampines just before hari raya...again, moving into a new environment.

its been six months now tht i've been living in this chaotic estate...its very different from the relaxed, soothing atmosphere of woodlands. everywhere i go now in tampines, its crowded and busy.....oh well...got to get used to it i guess...

recently found out my results for the first year of school, damn....it sucks...i managed fortunately to pass all my subjects but my GPA is really really damn low....but thnk god i passed all my subjects...

i gtg now...but i will be posting again soon...

~NAGA...

shes my everything.....

2007-12-06T22:45:00.000-08:00

i dont know where to start...life is like a sphere...it spins and theres no ending...i am forever bound to this simplistic life that once it changes to something different....me, my world, my heart...will never be the same...

i can never trust myself again...i don't even understand what the hell I'm writing...but what i know is...i love her...i love u...nabilah bte abdul jalil...

as we come of age...we take advantage of the life we have...we take advantage of our comfort zone and think everything will be fine even if we do something wrong...well...life is evolutionary....life changes...but my love for u will not....

maybe its time for me to disappear....away form life...away from my own world.......away from destiny....away from her...

i cannot deliver what she craves.....what she wants...what she needs...i feel i have restcicted her life to blossoming into something wonderful and fun...controled her mind to think wat i think...

i love....and im sorry to disappear...

2007-11-30T19:30:00.000-08:00

its just after 7 pm now and im sitting here wishing for her to return home safely...yup...my babygirl has gone to malacca and i miss her a whole lot....i was supposed to pick my sister up after her working hours in lavender...then go back to her house for a couple of days...

but my parents are sick...so leaving the house was impossible...i dont want to leave them alone like dat...well...babygirl is out with her family in malaysia and im missing her more and more...have u felt like saying tht u miss tht someone but scared to show tht softer side of u? i am feeling exactly tht...sometimes i wish for a perfect life...but i have failed to realize tht the perfect life has already been given to me.....

i want to cherish my life...love myself, my family, my friends, her....they are everything to me....everything starts after this moment...o levels are over....my job is starting soon...haha....so many things happening in life...tht sometimes u just have to stop and look at the things around u....

theres also so many things i wanna buy...psp slim, laptop(vaio), new clothes for poly, a new hp....
wah.....so many things want to buy ah?? hehe......i guess i will end here for today..

to babygirl...i love u...and wish u safety for ur return home...

2007-07-02T03:47:00.000-07:00

haha hehe huhu!!!nowadays...i just dono lah....i have been feeling as though i dont wana study anymore....but o levels just around the corner!! gooogooogaga!! anyways, i just went to manaswini's birthday party with baby...it was phoooyoh!! very kecoh !! but her parents were re4ally nice and sporting...everyone(except for me) were dancing.....it was almost like a club man!! anyways...it was nice to finally get some time with dear...i miss her alot....

tommorow will be a big day!! gettin the results of my mri knee scan!!! yeeeha!! tmrw is the day i will find out if i will be going for surgery....pretty scary huh? but no worries, got dear beside me so i think i will be ok...anyways...just wanna say i love u alot dear and thnk for being there for me throughout the past time we've been together...and happy i yr 5 months anniversarry to u baby..(26-o5-2007)...

as for the rest of u...my birthday coming ah!!! save up and buy me big presents!! just kidding lah!! ok...tc dudes and dudettes...tata

a long time coming

2007-05-29T07:03:00.000-07:00

wow!! how long has it been?? 2 months or so...whakaka!! life has been ok so far...been really happy with my life partner...i love u baby...

anyways, i had to go through the mopthertongue week in school where we study notin but mothertongue...it was hell...i was very sleepy throughout the week....but special thnks to my malay teacher (whom i dare not mention), who has put so much effort in preparing us for our o levels which was yesterday....the paper was ok i guess...but surely i wont be able to do well...ironically, i felt sleepy doing my o level mothertongue exam...ayoyo....

just now after school, went to kfc with dear...then i sent her home...notin much happened...oh yeah...rite after tht i met up with my brothers to play soccer...damn fun...its been a while since i played soccer....i guess thts it then....aiyah tommorow must do cip...malas lor!!!

wee waa woo

2007-04-14T05:20:00.000-07:00

i am quite scared at the moment...i sleep alot in class....and at nite, i am always awake, i just cant sleep at night, too many things on my mind, so many problems....and to think o levels are just months away, haiyah...stress man!!

school has been okay....eventhough it has been mentioned tht i sleep alot in class, i hope i will learn how to concentrate....anyways, i am sick the whole day...#@@$$#...got fever and flu...and i miss my baby girl alot!! didnt get to talk to her the whole day today...

notin really special happened last week, except for the fact tht me, my baby, and her grandma went out together...it was fun....sori dear for almost fallin asleep at ur grandma's friend's house...very sleepy hearing old people talk...haha...just kidding...

yesterday was school as usual....after tht had our focus study....baby was all wet!! kena scolding from me...dont do it again ah! anyways, after dat, went to send my dearest to her grandma's place....grandma asked me to stay and eat, but i was late already....haiyah...

grandma....she cook...walau!! power sey... i have never eaten so much in my life.....really enjoy whenever i come to her house...eventhough shes technically not my grandma YET.....if u know wat i mean lah...okok....i gtg eat my medicine just like baby old me to...thnks for readin and to my dear...love u....tata

i am back!!

2007-04-01T08:50:00.000-07:00

hey there...its been a while since i updated my blog, been many weeks huh? haha...well its been really hectic, with homeworks and tests...plus there has been alot of stress in my life so far, but everything is ok now...

anyways, in these few months, i have realised something about myself....i wanna become a better person, an improvement of the old me...oh well....its easier said than done...but i will cherish her from now on...no more silly mistakes...i am sorry baby, i love u...

oh yeah!! i almost forgot....i was beaten up last saturday, the bloody guy took my phone....i was so pissed...but now...i have calmed down and seen the bigger picture...maybe its for the best tht i lost tht phone, it was really distracting me in class...but still, heartpain sia....i worked my ass off to get tht phone...literally....415 dollars down the drain...oh well...i guess its just never meant to be...

but then...i have never been happier...finally, i can say tht, my stress has cleared up..coz i have her in my life again...i wont repeat the stupid mistakes i've made...my heart only belongs to u....

sports carnival is just days away...wow!! haha....very scary ah...but i pray we will win the gold again...hopefully, all our training will pay off...

i guess thts it huh...haha.....now i just wanna have a stress free life...no more old me....just wanna change and be happy always....see how lah i guess.....i can only pray, god has to approve....insyallah...ok lah guys...thnks for reading...take care

and to nabilah binte abdul jalil, i love u...

2007-02-22T08:50:00.000-08:00

it is 1 am and i cnt force myself to sleep....just feel so crappy.....this will be a short one...i dont give a rat's ass bout watever u people say.....i love her...and i care alot bout her so u guys pls mind ur own business...for zahirah, yup...i was wrong...really sori for blaming...i did apologise but i wanna let PEOPLE see this...zahirah, sori for blaming u...from the bottom of my heart....so people with notin better to do bgut say aske me asal tudoh sembarangan...here u have it...happy?? hope u are...

only memories

2007-02-17T03:25:00.000-08:00

people may not know the real story of wth happened over the past few days...yelah, aku ni kan suker tukar story...and whenever i try to explain myself, people run away or tell me to just fuck off...so heres the real story, believe it or not....its the fucking truth so just fuckinly change to another site if u dont wanna know the real story....

gee...where the hell should i start heh?? i dont really care...let me think...hmm...oh yes yes!! i remember...lets start from valentines day shall we?? yes we shall!! the night before valentines day...i went to woodgrove shopping mall to buy a pink rose for who else but my beloved nabilah...hmm....then i went back home....i wanted to surprise her in the morning by waitin for her under her voiddeck....but i was dumb, having spent watever money i had on the flower, i had none left to top up my ez link card....fuck!! i thought to myself as soon as i laid down on my bed...and so i knew i had to walk to her house to surprise her....but thts not all, i knew tht if i went to bed, i would never wake up early enough to walk to her house..so i settled dat problem by staying awake with the help of smokes...haha...gods great creation is marlboro....wont u agree?

so i stayed awake, hour after hour, i smoked and smoked, watched the tv and played my guitar until it was 5.30 am...i took a bath and put on my uniform...at 6.30 am, i walked....its not tht far,,,only about 40 minutes walk....i just wanted to see her smile...and tell her i love her...she got out of the lift and saw me....i gave her the rose....her face showed no emotion....i was kinda sad tht i was not abled to make her smile...we went to school together...tht was really weird...very2 weird...both of us, so silent, so formal....as if it was our first date...

in school, durin A math lesson, i was coughin and coughin non stop....fuckin hurts...faqih went to the toilet, accompanying me...i puked my lungs out...there was blood too.....i was scared...my eyes turned watery and my chest felt like it was goin to explode...once back in the classroom, nobody but faqih asked me how i was doin....so i told her....i am sick down here and u dont even care? she just said...ah....and got up from her seat and asked to be excused by the teacher...once class was over, she gave me two tablets of panadol...i smiled from the inside...maybe she did care...so i decided to just joke around and said...i'll pay u later for the panadol...(i was freakin jokin!!) then she replied, i guess i will pay u back for the rose....and i replied...no no, thts not necessary and i smiled....

it was just before english lesson , after puking again, i was waitin outside class to take my english book and head for my other class...i saw her restin against the wall..i asked her whats wrong?? she didnt even shake her head or replied in any sort of way....so i asked the same thing again...wats wrong...she then said....notin lah....and frowned...i was worried...and raised my voice(eventhough i wasnt supposed to) apesal ngan u?? pls dont be like dis.... she replied ckp ah kuat2! kasi seme orang dengar!!...i was like oh shit...here we go again.....i went into class and took my book....and went out...i saw her tokin to faz...so i decided to just walk away....suddenly i didnt see a teacher walking beside me...to avoid hittin the teacher, i accidentally hit nabilah...i said....sori sori...and i was kinda late for english so i just continued walkin.....she then said...eh alamak!! i was pissed off....i went up to her...and said...apesal ngan u?? tak puas? tak sengaje kan! ....then she just said sori ah! and went into class....i was fucked up....really fucked up!! went into english class and faz looked at me...u ok? she asked...then i just couldnt contain it no more...and told her..." ci bai ah...apesal ngan dier?? ape salah aku?? aku dah jalan jaoh2 nak jumper dier....belikan dier bunge 10 dollar...salah ke buat macam gitu...aku rase cam sial...pukimak ape sey aku buat? aku saket pon tak kesah.." then i just cooled off once mr tsung started playin the high school musical disc....as u can see....i didnt maki her mom....at least, its never my intention to...wat for would i do dat? i respect and have come to love her mom...what type of guy do u guys think i am?? if u think i maki her mom then u deserve this " FUCK U" only me and god knows, i didnt swear about her mom....i wouldnt do such a fuck...i love her family...

i didnt know tht people have sharp ears to listen to other people's conversations and misinterpret what people say...zahirah, i dont blame u for watever u told nab...eventhough it wasnt the truth, i wont deny it was wrong of me to even use those words in the first place...but i tell u as a man rite now, i had no intentions wat so ever to disrespect her mom or her...i am not counting on anyone to believe me....i dont give a fuck if no one believes me...i know myself...i know wats the fuckin truth....if u still think i said those things about her mom....then fuck u! but i cant change the way u think....

this is probably the longest post i have ever written, this is the first time i feel this way....my world now is so quiet, tht i cant even hear silence....i love her, but i know i dont deserve her...watever i say now will not change anythin, especially her feelings towards me...i cannot force someone to love me, no matter how much i love tht person...my head is like a freakin mess....i cant stop being confused...wat the hell did i ever do to deserve this, but come to think of it, wat did i ever do to deserve her? this is karma, god gives u the best thing in the world, and he might just take her away from u to see how much she means to u...rite now, i wont fight back, she doesnt love me anymore...she said dat herself?? i am a jackass to let u go...but seeing watever tht has happened so far...ur doin fine without me...and i'm thnkfull for tht, may u find a good guy, who will love and cherish u even more than me....coz thts the person nabilah really deserves...

all i have are memories, seein her smile for the first time, her writting in my camp book tht she loves me, her puttin anticeptic on my cuts and takin care of me....seein her wearin the tudong rite in front of my eyes, tht was when i imagined her being my wife....i still do...i remembered she surprised me by buying me the ring tht i wear everyday....i regret not doin more than wat could have been done...may u have a life, longlasting with happiness and joy, i will always be there for u, as a friend...eventhough to me u will never be one, at least u'll know, whenever i say ur my friend, i am lying. whenever i say i hate u, i am lying. whenever i say i want u to be happy without me, i am lying too. so i just wanna say, nabilah my friend, i hate u! but i hope u will be happy without me...(i'm lying) haha ok lame...

back to seriousness, i am thnkfull to god for blessing me by letting the most beautiful girl walk into my life...the person who has cared for me like no other, the person whos shoulder i have cried on and depended on...for now, missing her is the only thing i can do....

2007-02-02T02:35:00.000-08:00

keliru dengan masa yang lalu,
oh kamu adalah segalanya bagiku,
dan kamu kucinta dan bersumpah,
menjaga yang sebenar,
jgn membisu kuperlukan mu,

karena cinta yang mendalam,
inginku rindu,
jalan cerita percintaan kita,
manusia mana yang tak membuat kesalahan,
kini kusedari,
kuinginkanmu,
nabilah, kucintakanmu,
nabilah, kuperlukanmu,
nabilah, kaulah kehidupanku,
nabilah, kaulah segalanya,

keliru dengan air matamu,
wajah yang sayu,
titisan membasahi pipimu,
oh kasih aku hanya di sini,
menemani hidupmu,
ku takkan pergi,
takkanku cari,

karena cinta yang mendalam,
inginku rindu,
jalan cerita cinta bersamamu,
manusia mana yang tak membuat kesalahan,
kini kusedari,
kuperlukanmu,
nabilah, kucintakanmu,
nabilah, kuperlukanmu,
nabilah, nabilah jgn kau pergi meninggalkanku,
nabilah, aku sygkanmu...

i cant wait...

2007-02-01T11:28:00.000-08:00

its so boring when u cant go to school....haha who am i kiddin...its great!!! although it is kinda of tough not seeing ur baby...anyways....woke up at 6 today....got a phone call from baby...and suddenly i couldnt sleep anymore...just thinkin of her...if u guys dont know...i have a freakinly big cut on my right thigh...the result of a sliding tackle i made during yesterday's soccer match....it hurts real bad....and its still bloody.....

woke dad up at 7.50 and begged him to take me and my mom out for breakfast...at around 8.30...the three of us went to yishun...near the library to eat wat else but prata...i tell u the prata there is superb...really good....my favourite...haha....used to go there every week with my bros...but now no time...hai...after tht...we went to vista point coz my dad wanted to get a hircut...its been ages since i went to vista point...i used to live near there...damn...i missed tht place...alot of memories...used to lepak2 there...hehe...okok....while waitin for my dad to complete his haircut...met up with my old neighbour...she was with her daughters...haha...they so big oready...used to seeing them in primary school...now they all grown up...i think one of them is in sec 2...anyways....my mom talked to them for a while ....then we went to the video store to rent some movies...i thought of watchin a movie when my baby comes here later on to check up on me...so sweet of her...she wants to come her to see me after school...cant wait....

i miss her so much...thinkin of her...i dont really feel much pain...i am really excited about her comin over....in about another 3 hours, she will end school...arrgh...cannot wait to see her face...i need her...so lonely....so weak...i just need her to be beside me...and comfort me...love u baby....and i hope she did well for her bio test...

ok lah...i wanna rest....my leg is startin to bleed agin...got to clean it up...ok see ya....to my baby....
i love u!!

my one and only

2007-01-28T21:00:00.000-08:00

its been hard without u, i only feel at ease when ur by my side, to feel my heart beat as i hold u close, i wish there's only me and u in this world, no one to desturb us, no one to seperate us. i love u dearly, with all my heart and my mind. i see u each time i close my eyes. theres no one else but u in my world. its a wonderful world. coz i get to hold ur hand, hold u tight and say i love u. theres a long way to go. but i will always be here to love u baby. i miss u. i really do. theres notin else i'd rather wish for, then a wish to have u forever. shes back in my life, well, my life is back....i thought i have lost all sense of time...i guess time only stands still coz i wont let u go again...i love u.

2007-01-22T05:15:00.000-08:00

ku hanya berharap,
kita kan kembali,
selah waktu,
hidupku tanpamu,

kusedari,
kaulah segalanya,
namun kini,
engkau telah pergi,

menutup mataku,
ku hanya melihatmu,
wajahmu ayu,
jadi hatiku sayu,

tuhan kumencintai dia,
titisan air mata,
tidak mencukupi,
tuhan kuperlukan dia,
pergi takkan kembali,
aku hanya berharap dia,
bahgia

pizza and soccer..

2007-01-15T07:05:00.000-08:00

school was damn boring today...i think a few people know why?? early in the mornin...wasn't feeling well at all....after morning assembly, i went to the toilet and "bluergh".... if u know wat i mean....then during physics lesson....i went to the toilet again and "bluergh" again.......just wasnt feeling so good in the stomach...during malay class, had to do the stupid dialog thing...sory diyanah for pestering u to help me....haha...siket tak tau je tanye dier....kesian sey...dier nak buat keje pon tak boleh...then after school, haziqah invited me to go o pizza hut and eat...i guess she wanted to cheer me up or somethin....went with, haziqah, sharizan, shabana, syafiq and liyana...while eating...dina came to pass me her physics fys....so nice of her...thnks dinzie....

i had to leave the guys early to go for my soccer training....the soccer training was wet!! very wet...got to play the leftback position...damn tired sak....and i got alot of cuts...balek umah at around 7.30...and headed for the toilet to bluergh!!!...now i feel like shit....so weak...so tired....ths it i guess....thnks faz and fidah for makin me feel better..and to nura who helped me sabar abit(calm myself) durin school.....thnks guys....i still feel like...nvm....ok ah..i guess this is my life now....so empty....got to get used to this...take care people...

went out with fidah

2007-01-14T00:45:00.000-08:00

wah...very the tired man...was sittin at home...very the bored2...so decided to kol fidah up...i also wanted to give her somethin she asked me to buy...so met her at cozway point and we headed out to civic's library...not that many people there...many of the apeks were sleepin in the library....(take tht cekgu bayah!!)...then we went to the second floor...to find a quiet place to study...both of us took out our mathematics book and started...fun sey...i even lay myself down on the floor...haha....then there was this group of poly students i think....so the kecoh and biseng...cannot tahan sey...after a while...fidah got bored i guess...and then she took one of the sherlock holmes books and started readin...she read quite fast sak...respect sama lu!!..

then we headed to cozway point....where i went to release my frustations...or in other words...to shit...hehe...fidah put on her make up in the meantime...i finished first...can u believe it?? i shit faster then she put on make up?? wow....then after dat we went our seperate ways....

its so funny how life goes...one minute life is so good, full of happiness...and then the next....all is gone...suddenlky ur so lonely....having nobody.... all i wanna say is...i love her...

2007-01-08T06:12:00.000-08:00

i am confused...dazed...given up all hopes of recovering the love i have lost....only now i know the true meaning of love...its not about hugs and kisses, not about saying i love u to one another...its about what u feel when u look into her eyes...i looked into hers...saw my own reflection...made me feel secured and warm....her eyes lit up my darkness...i have succumbed to the darkness tht has loomed my world ever since she left....its so hard to tell her how i feel, scared of hurting the only girl i love, again.....a special girl is a gem in every guy's heart, i will never lose her as mine...i have made a mistake, thinkin slowly, i am afraid, i would redo tht mistake tht drove her away...destiny will settle everything, i guess her destiny doesnt have my name on it.....i hope she is happy....just as hapy as how i portray myself to be...in the inside, i am burning in sadness, confusion...i love her, i got to do the right thing...sometimes doing the right is not doing right thing....every nite i feel like shes the only person in the world...to me, she is the only one tht i care so much about...i miss her...i love everything about her....her smile, her eyes, the way she talks, walks, her voice...everything...i regret not cherishing her when i got the chance...its over now....so is my life...i have lost all directions in life....i dont know where to go...what to do....all i could think about is her happiness...love is about being together....through joy and sadness....i guess i have to face reality...shes gone, and she will probably never come back...i miss her so much, no words in the dictionary can describe how much i miss her...the pictures of me are gone, everything was back to the way it was before we got together...i am happy tht shes moving on...but deep inside, i am not...i am hurting so bad, it seems like theres no tommorrow....time passes by so slowly nite, only stretching my pain...when i'm with her, time seems to run....so fast, tht i could not catch up.....its really over....i cant believe it, i got to throw away all the dreams i had about marryin her, lovin and takin care of her....i miss her so...but shes happy now, livin her life the way she wants....all i wanna say is tht, i love u....eventhough my words cannot make u come back....i want u to know, tht there is no girl ouit there tht can make me feel this way, i swear...all i have to give is myself, it will never be good enough...u deserve better...but wat i can tell u truthfully is...no one will love u like i do, i apologise for my mistakes, but i will never apologise for loving u....

2007-01-06T21:29:00.000-08:00

just got back from camp...it was wonderful...tiring like hell...but the camp gave me a chance to bond even closer with my buddies...the first day of camp...shouted alot...its hard to get the attention of 20 people...but my group was wonderful...with my bro faqih...i enjoyed myself alot...thnks bro for makin me feel better ....btw...all my bros made me feel better...everyone listened to my probs...thnks guys...and girls...

the first day, had alot of cheers and ice breaker games...went to the field and was drenched by zubair...he hugged me when he was all wet...makin me wet...fish u zubair!! haha...no lah love u bro!! then we had to go home coz the teachers didnt allow us to sleep in school...so a group of us went to east coast park to sleep...me, hairi, ismail, taufiq, hyder, divya, mira, firah, hana, faqih and seri went there...it was cold in the morning...i was really runnin out of ciggs...haha...really gave a chance to clear my mind....lookin at the sea at night..made me realize how beautiful she is, she couldnt even compare to the beauty of the sea...anyways...had to wake up really early...to get to school.......took a bus and i dont know wat happened...i think i sleep walked the whole way...thnks firah for everything aite...then we had the camp fire...then bla3 lazy to type haha..ok lah...thts it i guess...thnks fidah, hana, firah and also faqih for hearin my problems...i love u guys...thnks...

2006-12-28T05:19:00.000-08:00

it seems as though i am dreaming, a nightmare, scared, regret, speechless, have i lost the only person i lived for....
i was taken by surprise, she stole my heart, my life....
leavin me with memories of her eyes, her smile, her hands holding mine,
i got no more tears to shed,
i captured every moment of us together, to be cherished in my heart,
i just could not accept the fact that i have lost her....
i see her face everytime i close my eyes,
i need her to push me to live,
without her, i got nothing...
i miss the sound of her voice,
her saying i love you to my ears,
its over, so is my life,
hope she will find happiness without me,
she's my everything, now that she's gone,
i got nothing...
nabilah binte abdul jalil, i love u...

its been a long time

2006-12-27T00:45:00.000-08:00

its been ages since i updated my blog...well....been kind of lazy and bz too...so many things happenin...just ended my job as a waiter at downtowneast banquet....in total, i got about 1000 plus dollars...but 3/4 of it i gave to my mom to help her out abit u know....with the money tht is left, i managed to buy a new phone...its notin fancy lah but alhamdullilah....on on monday, went out with badron and azri to central(the old checkpoint) to send azri's laptop for repair and then met up with badron at yishun...we walked around northpoint and then decided to play LAN. it was fun, except i sucked at it...at least its better than fucking around at home.....

then i met my mom at home then we took a cab to my sister's place in punggol.....me and my mom wanted to camp there for a few days. its been a long time since i spent time with my sis...then yesterday nite, my brother came to my sister's p[lace and said he had a surprise for me
...then he showed me this brand new guitar amplifier and said its mine....wow!! i was shocked...he said i had to take gd care of it coz it costs around 300 bucks...peeeweeet!! and the other gadgets for the guitar cost around the same so total, he bought me 600 bucks worth of guitar gadgets....i was in ....(no words).....

it really brightened my mood coz somethin fucked my mood the other day....i felt like a freakin idiot....i know i am being loved, but i dono if i am needed....people can say they love u, but wat good does it do if they dont need u?? i know who i am and i know my place in tht person's life...i am dissapointed with wat happened...i dont blame anyone, i guess i am just not needed..oh well...fuck it...fuck this damn feeling!! i am tired of being fucked around.....enough....

you know wat reader?? i just need sometime alone...yeah...thts wat i need...or at least be around people who wants me to be around...ahh forget it....i am pissed....maybe i should just be alone for now....yeah...alone is gd...peace...hey when i am not there...i get peace and so everybody gets wat they want....friends or partner?? hmm tough choice...NOT!!! good day....i'll just fuck off now...remember this?? "SUDALAH!!"

my baby, i miss her

2006-12-07T00:18:00.000-08:00

just got back from my sister's place, slept there yesterday night after work cause her house is quite near to my work place...this morning...alot of things happened...gave me a real big headache...

anyways....

I miss her...
I miss her eyes...
I miss her smile...
miss her actions...
the way she sneezes....
the way she scolds me for smoking...
the way she grabs my hand as we walked...
miss her smell...
the way she greets me at her door...
the way her mom scolds me for being blurr..
the way baby hugs me...
the way she manje2 when she is sick...
the way she walks...
the way she eats....
the way she looks into my eyes...
the way she kepale batu...

i miss her, i miss her like crazy....
i remembered the first time we met..
her eyes looked into mine...
she smiled, the most magnificient smile i have ever seen...
and she, is the most amazing girl that i have ever met...
missing her is a daily ritual for me...
sounds ridiculous, but i miss her even when i am with her...
complicated? who says love was otherwise....
for me...it doesnt matter how complicated our relationship is,
or the problems we might face...
all that matters is that we face them together...

4 more days to 1 year....to me...its the best one year of my life...cause i got to spend it with her...nabilah binte abdul jalil...i mohamed ihsan bin mohamed...will love and cherish u always...

workin life...

2006-11-28T17:19:00.000-08:00

how long has it been since i last updated my blog?? oh boy....very long huh....
alot has been happenin in my life....i got a job at downtowneast....its damn tiring...but the pay is quite gd so i dont mind workin much....however...being away from my girl has been the hardest for me to endure....every nite i listen to her voice...but that aint enough for me....i miss her like crazy...damn crazy....

everyday wake up at around 4....and then meet my bros at 5.30 in the morning to get to work by 7...damn...like a freaking zombie...i walk from my house to causeway point...its damn cold in the morning...walkin all alone....it really hits me that i am desperately missin her....my baby girl....i cant live like this...

i've been wearing my trail shoes for work...and u know wat...i got to buy black shoes for waitering...damn ****...where got money sey...my pay must use to buy shoes...haiyah...anyways...last week...on my off day...went to watch happy feet with baby girl...it was great...the little penguins dancing...funny sia...i hugged baby all the way....couldn't let go of her...eventhough she finished my nanchos.. arrgh!!! hehe i love u baby.....

when i get my pay this friday...must buy so many things....give my mom some money....buy black shoes....buy school books.....buy for tht someone special something.....today is my offday!! woohooo!!! get to rest and TIDO!!! but also gonna go out with my baby later on...cannot tahan oleady....must go out with her.....i MUST!! cannot TAHAN anymore.......hehe....

baby...i love u so much...cant wait to see u ok syg....ok lah...tata....

2006-11-07T05:45:00.000-08:00

terhantok?? terhantok kepale hotak kau!! anyways...today i had malay supplementary lessons again...quite fun ah cekgu analiza.....thought i would not enjoy the lessons but i have so far...nice2...
after school...went to eat long john again with my bros...azri, syafiq and busty!! hehe...then went home with badron and azri as syafiq had to go home.....then hairi, kamarul and faqih met us at my place...it was pure chaos .....azri was much on the computer while the rest of us played the x box...fun man!!

then we all went to al-amin to eat......hmm yum2....hairi and badron became accountants...if u know wat i mean...counting all the money.....after tht we came back to my place and continued playin....then when they all left...i accompanied my aunty and grandma who visited....so nice to see them....

now i feel like shit...one hamba allah....( no mentioning who) just deserves to die.....but i pray he has a gd life...a life that does not interfere with mine or my girl's....hope he burns in hell but i pray he will go to heaven....anyways....kalau nak sindir...jgn takot2...dont think that i am stupid...i am more clever than u my friend...trust me...jgn nak step mak saleh ngan aku.....aku jentek kau...kau nye tulang repot.....ehem...maaf yer....kalau ader org kuros2 tulang terkeluar terase kat sane...anyways...happy livin.....but if u want ur life to hell...just kol me or desturb my girl again...and i will make sure u would want to go to heaven early....now i wanna try to cut down on my swearing...be a better person...but i guess i will swear one last time.....fuck u bitch!! step mak saleh!! fuck u!! yes yes!! fuck u!!! get a fuckin brunch and fuck ur asshole!!! eat some more cos i can see ur cheekbones and its gross man....go and die!! motherfucker!!! PUAS HATI AH!!

one last thing....thnks brothers for accompanying me today...realy appreciate it alot....and to my dear...love u...

2006-11-06T05:34:00.000-08:00

wat a fun few days...haha...on friday went jalan raya with my friends part two...haha...me and baby wore white...nak sgt...hehe...went to alot of houses...but one really caught my eye....maisarah's house..i mean the toilet...style ah!! me and hairi were like in awe...hehe...i thought it was a cabinet sey...tipah tertipu!! but me and baby had lotsa fun...she hugged me all the way at night....love her so much..ehem2...okok....

after supplementary lesson, went to admiralty kfc to buy my baby her zinger meal...then went to her house to eat....then waited for her to siap2 and glamour2....then around 12 like dat...we went to my place and she waited for me to get ready...she help me wear my samping....haha..with my mom givin instructions....so sweet ah my wife......(future)
then met the gang at around 1.30 at boots and shoes and we started our day...
sori to ismail and syafiq and also shafiqah coz me and baby could not go to ur houses...had to send her home coz it was late later my mak mertue scold me for sending her daughter back home late....around 11.30, send my baby home and used her home toilet...had to pee sia..!!! tahan the whole day!! cannot tahan anymore....must release tension!! u know wat i mean?? hehe...then went home around 12...walked to 888 then took the bus from there.

on saturday and sunday...notin much happened...went to my nenek's and mak cik's house....so long never see them...haha!! then today...had mt lessons with cekgu analiza...quite fun ah...hehe...then after tht ate at long john with my friends and my girl....then went home to take azri's guitar before heading out to hairi's house where me and my bros played soccer...it was soaking wet and kamarul fell and hit his head...pitty sey..but lucky hes ok....scary sia playin on a slippery surface....scared of fallin down....after playin .....went to meet my girl then i send her home.....

well i guess thts all that happened....wanna go tok to my girl now...she just dyed her hair....dono wat will happen to her hair....skali become green or orange ah her hair...hehe choi!! ok lah tata

2006-11-01T22:25:00.000-08:00

just got back from causeway point...u know wat?? when i got there...the place was soaking wet and there were police and security officers everywhere....well i think one of the shops caught fire or somethin...quite scared sia to walk there....went to bata to buy new school shoes...my shoe already half gaping...can see my toes and heel...haha i guess i walk to much...then went to 77th street to buy a new belt...and then last of all went to guardian to buy my cough medicine...thnks mom for everythin....i dragged her out of bed to accompany me...hahaha...

anyways, just now was another long day of science...physics!!! my god...damn it...sucks to the core...not the subject but the lesson...boring to death...when the other guys had A maths lesson which was the last period, me and dear escaped!!! haha!!! i mean...we were released early....went to causeway point coz my baby(yg manje sangat tu) wanted to eat long john silver...so we bought the food and went to her house...

ate together when her mom( my bakal mak mertue insyallah) came and scolded me...well joking lah...hehe...she told me to come and study together with her beautiful daughter....hmm...of course i will...anythin to see my baby rite?? muahaha!!! then after about two hours at her house...went to meet faqih to get the soccer ball from hairi's brother.....then lepak at hairi's house...

about half an hour later...met up with the rest of the gang to play soccer...wow!! gerek man...been so long since i ran so much...then while playin, one of my bros accidentally kicked me at the ankle area...at first i thought it was notin...but then when i looked at my left foot...it was covered in blood...i shouted like a tarzan...walan!!! scary sia...hairi was like panicking sey...but it was notin lah...just a small cut...it was accidental after all...then after tht it started to rain heavily and i went to hairi's house again to wash up and play games with him and his brother...haha shiok sey...after the rain stopped i went home......around 5.30pm...

and now, i am feeling so tired...i think i am havin a fever....arrr so cold...wish dat my baby is here rite now huggin me...she's at her neighbour's house with her family rayaing...miss her alot...well i guess i wanna rest now...so exhausted....tata ...and to my baby girl...i love u...

2006-10-31T16:10:00.000-08:00

well well well....i am at my new house in marsiling...woooo!! sory for not updating for so long...been sick lately....keep on throwing up...aiyerr...lucky there is someone to take care of me......talkin my new house...man oh man....its unfinished...but i had to move....so sad to leave my previous house in woodlands...well my new house is just a stone's throw away from woodgrove mall...muahahaha!!! got seven eleven....muahahaha!!! got ntuc...muahahaha!!!! got al-amin....muahahaha!!!! feelin so tired rite now....got supplementary lessons just now....physics...yuck!!! aiyerr my class kena scold for being noisy, i got reprimanded for being rude...wtf??, and i think justin got a real scolding for being extra extra rude....wakaka!! we did not enjoy the lessons at all.....

hari raya??? issit? dont feel like it......there is no feeling of excitement this year.....celebrations have been low key...but its nice to see my family...especially my cousins...missed them...i dyed my hair red...just wanted to experience having coloured hair....but can only have it for a few months...coz school will be startin soon...oh man....

yesterday...me, my dear and my friends went jalan raye....it was fun man...laughed alot....though i was sick....i couldn't help but noticing this beautiful girl wearing green coloured baju kebaye...damn it man!! shes beautiful .....with her brown cat-like eyes....wow.....cair babe...and u know wat?? she wore the same colour as my baju raye....wow!! the girl was none other than my baby dear...whakaka!!! alamak...dah start emo...okok...after jalan2 went to my dear's house....ate nasi and curry chicken there...hmm yum2...thnks baby for accompanying me eat...then i went home around 10.30 like dat...wow so tired...just feel like landing on my bed...

today, after school, went to my dear's house to eat maccaroni!!! eventhough baby ate some of mine...cannot finish, scared later vommit....lalala....

haha to my dear.... and also fana, zahirah, maisarah, fidah nura and hairi, watver we talked about tht girl just sticks within us ok?? haha tht someone realy has somethin wrong in her brain and eyes....haha ok lah i will end here...selamat hari raye to all...and to my dear...i love u...ok tata...

2006-10-16T22:59:00.000-07:00

muahahaha!!! wow these past few days have been hectic man!! no time to even update my blog...well here goes...

on friday...we had rehearsals for the deeparaya celebrations.....kwa kwa kwa...............quite ok larr...except that faqih made a mistake on stage...so funny sia...sori faqih for laughing at u ....hehe...
we practiced and practiced so hard that my body is now covered in bruises...damn it hurts to roll ur body on the ground...trust me...then after the rehearsals...faqih, azri and ismail went to my old house to help me pack up my stuff for the move to the new house...thnks guys...ini baru brothers!!

then on saturday...it was time to paint the new house in marsiling....my god!!! it was damn tiring...astarghfirrullahalazim......but luckily!!! my brothers were there to help me once again.....thnks to azri....faqih...zubair...hairi...and also ismail for helping me paint my house!! u guys are the best man!!i dono wat i would do without them...thnks once again...then after painting a portion of the house...zubair and hairi left.....and so...me, faqih, azri and ismail broke our fast eating canadian pizza!! woo!!! i ate 8 slices...for me quite little ah...but for some reason, my bros say i eat alot...hmm....then after that, we went to causeway to buy a string for faqih's guitar...then dear called me up...i miss her man....just wanna...ehem2...."wont elaborate further"...then me and my bros just went under a void deck near civic centre and strummed away at the guitars...fun sia...thought ismail how to sing the zombie song...whakaka...wat a fun and tiring day!!

on sunday which was yesterday...notin much happened...went to paint the house again with my brothers and sister....we all broke our fast early...cannot tahan...very thirsty..hehe...then we all ate together...its been a long time since me, my sis and bro ate together...sad2......i guess dats all that happened yesterday...

today...monday....my class got back our results for chemistry, mothertongue and e maths.....boy oh boy...i am happy to say i pass all three so far...alhamdullilah...but then havent add the common test marks...i am just happy to finally pass my chemistry...its my weakest subject, along with physics...hopefully i can pass my english and i will be on my way to sec 4!! wooo!!!
cannot wait sey...to get secondary school over and done with.....hehe...so kianchong ah....after school there was silat costume fitting...met cikgu analiza along with the persilats to get our costumes...the costumes are ok larr...cannot wait to do silat in actual costumes tommorow...muowowowowo!!! after dat....we went to hairi's house to sleep...i slept for 1.5 hours!! wow!! after my nap...went down to school to accompany my baby home....i love her....so pittyful...she is sick and yet still wanted to do dikir...arrgh!! very geram lerr...but then we made up....miss her so much...accompanied her to he shop and bought for her milo....then after dat send her home.....from her house...i was waiting for the lift when i happened to glance at my watch...6.30 pm....shit!!! " o'oh...mati mati...tentu mati..." i was late!!! omg...waited for the auzubillah bus to come...waited for a freakin 15 minutes...once i reaced home, it was already time to break fast...walao...thirsty like hell sey just now...hehe....well i guess thts all tht happened...

now i just got back from my new place....i managed to continue painting the house abit....but there is still alot of work to be done....well i guess thts all then...special thnks to my brothers for helping me out and to my baby dear...i love u...and pray tht u get better quickly ok....tata everybody...

2006-10-10T14:30:00.000-07:00

well just came back from the barber shop..haha...my hair...all gone...asked for a GI...and a v at the back....dont like long hair ah...very hot...so now no need to comb my hair...yeeha....me and faqih same2 lah yer....hehe...

just came back from school oso...today came back early...very early.....very very early...wooo....and not to mention....i finished my exams!!! eventhough the results will be shit...who cares!! its over!! muahahaha....very happy sey....at last i get to have some sleep at night...i've been an owl lately...sleep durin the day...eyes wide open at night...

just now after i finished the malay paper...i put my head down to rest...and damn!! i slept for 30 minutes...and also....during the exam...badron's hp sounded!! not once but twice...i was like, shit...ni mesti kene confiscate nye....and indeed his phone was confiscated...poor thing...but after seeing miss hesley...she gave the phone back...lucky busty!! not like me...my phone last time was confiscated by miss foo for the whole day....hehe....

i guess now times are changin...next year sec 4...wow....its really fast huh..?...hmm...i remembered my first day of secondary school...met zubair...haha...the good times...
also...gonna be movin to marsiling in maybe two weeks...maybe i will start packing my stuff today...just maybe, if i am not lazy...hehe....everything is changing so fast....the things u thought were gonna last forever have been lost.....i've lost something of mine...shit...i keep thinkin about it...praying it will return...but who am i kdding...its never comin back....its my fault?? yeah i know.....its hard living life without it...but i guess i have to...theres no other choice....like wat badron said.....when u lost it....u feel like somethin's missing in ur life...hes right.....i am missing somethin......... somethin in my life tht i care most about...but i guess somethings just happen and there's notin u can do about it...

well gtg now...gd luck for ur exams....bye bye...

2006-10-01T23:25:00.000-07:00

firstly...wanna say sori to someone as i called him a motherfucker...sori yeah...ko jgn kacau aku lagi..aku tak kacau kau...seme org happy...ok?? gd...skrg aku dah takde hal ngan kau...kau dah takde hal ngan aku...seme dah settle..ok?? bilang kawan cine kau tu gi relek....jgn maen masok je hal orang...kawan2 aku takde masok campor ngan hal kiter...dier nak sebok2 masok hal org...ok dah...

just now...one of my friends said to me alot of ppl hate me coz of my friendster pic and my nickname and also coz they think i am in a gang....well...i am not in a gang...dont worry...my friendster pic was a joke between me and my sister...i dont go around looking for a fight here and there....like notin else better to do ah?? and also my nickname was not given to me by myself...my friends call me that....so ya...thts settled...anyways that pic of me at friendster really is a joke lah...u all think wat?? pls ah.....dont make small matter like a picture become a big matter....

today was english paper...the curtain raiser for the end of the year exams...it was quite hard ah...alhamdullilah get to complete in time....after the exam, my hand really exhausted...macam nak jatoh....peggang pen pon dah tak betol....hehe....hope can pass the exams at least...

ok lah want to rest tata.

2006-09-29T18:22:00.000-07:00

already six days of fasting and my patience is runnin out...alot happened today...first was the motherfuckers/motherfucker who pissed me off....called my name like a bitch from the third floor...i was on the first...i went up to ask why he called my nickname...he said he didnt...then when i asked again he said he did...when i asked again the same question, he said he called my nickname just for fun...fuck u asshole..anyways...i am not referring to any sec twos aite...i think we should just stop the fucking nonsence and just move on...from now on...i will do my part and forget aout wat happened between the sec twos and sec threes...but if u guys want to start the shit again...i will put my foot up ur asses...but now...lets have peace aite sec twos...no hard feelings between u guys and us...all of us are humans...from the same school....lets be logical, lets be friends....and me and my friends are sori for watever has happened between the sec twos and threes...no more fighting...lets end this...unless u guys wanna start all over again...i Will slap every bitch that pisses me off...and for that motherlicker who pissed me off durin recess...u got balls so use them...own up if u wanna pick a fight...dont hide behind ur friend....ur fuckin lucky ur friend was there if not i wouldnt care wat happens to me, as long as i get to whoop ur ass motherfucker...

after skool, went home to hairi's house to hang out as i had to wait for my girl who had somethin to do...we watched the new movie...GANYUT...so damn funny...it made my day at least..the only time i got to laugh and smile...thnks hairi and azri for being with me....and to my other bro faqih, dont worry aite...we are brothers, so if ur in trouble, we will be rite behind u aite...no two ways about it...

after watching the movie...hairi took out his uno cards for me and azri...we played for only 5 minutes when hairi put on another movie....kurang asam betol....that made me and azri stopped playin and watch the other movie...1/3 of the movie gone, i went home from hairi's house...just tired i guess, my girl had somethin to do so i did not send her home...

i just wanna say these last few words to that special somebody....what i do for u is from the heart, i expect notin less then respect and compassion, coz thts wat i've been giving u all this while...to the muslims...selamat berbuke...and to the non muslims...err well happy..err...happy "eatingatwhatevertimeyouwant"......if u can read tht...well peace people..tata

2006-09-23T05:01:00.000-07:00

hey everybody...
today was my mother's birthday...felt happy for her...tht beautiful lady of mine is the best mother in the world...to me anyway....she's been there for me...takin care of me...through gd and bad times..i am lucky to have such a nice person to be there for me..i love her..haha...my brothers and sisters came to the house to celebrate...my sis even bought a big ass birthday cake...it was delicious...i even cooked with my mom...can u imagine...my sisters are at the living room watchin tv and me and my mom are in the kitchen cookin?? weird rite?? i felt pitty towards my mom...its her special day and she the one doing all the work...so i tried to help her abit...

been having problems lately....with my studies and shit....just wanna say to fana, zahirah and maisarah, sori...tht i've been acting weird lately...to her...i wanna say sori for everything...its my fault for acting like this... i shouldn't have scolded u and been so vein...never should have added to ur stress...i am sori...i guess i am justnot such a gd boyfren...dont know how to treat a girl...dont know how to understand my own girl...i am sori baby...i love u...and to faqih and seri...u guys dont bother bout tht motherfuckin tagger...just live life happily...thts the only way to go...as for me....i will try to be more understanding towards my girl....and let her have fun...not expect her to be controlled and spend time with only me...thts my mistake i guess...i miss her...

2006-09-21T22:57:00.000-07:00

today school was as usual, woke up at 5.30 and went out of the house at 6.30 am....then walked to my girl's block in admiralty...not tht far lar ....few minutes walk oni....then we went to school together....school was boring...spent 2 periods in the library coz my malay teacher was away on a course and my pe teacher was absent...so yar...sat at library and listened to songs .....i had this painful headache in class for the past two days...dono lah...maybe coz of stress...its so painful and my friends said they could see a vein at the side of my head popping out...

hmm ....durin the last period which was a maths...the non a maths students had the chance to go back first...while the other students still had to stay in class...i grabbed my bag and went out of school alone...i felt like fuck sia...walk alone...luckily met up with jeremy and fazilla and they kept me company to the bus stop... i had to go home early to follow my mom to my sister's place in punggol....visit my sis and her family...i miss my sis and her kids... haha....

went home at around 8++ and now i just finished my hmwk...woo...so tired...talked to hairi just now on the phone and i am very glad hes ok now...for two days he has been absent from class...and the exams are just around the corner...i got worried for him...but hes ok and he will catch up...woohoo!!

tommorrow there is silat trainin again...ouch...i went to the specialist clinic yesterday to have a check up on my pelvic bone...well there is still a crack there but the doc said i will be fine..so i guess i have to be carefull durin silat...sien ah...

hai...i guess dats all tht happened today....just feel so alone sia...dono why...

adakah diriku kau tak perlu lagi,
adakah cintaku kau tak perlu lagi,
adakah dirimu dah berubah hati terhadap diriku...

2006-09-18T06:59:00.000-07:00

oooh lala...the past few days have been..hmm....shit!!...but i will try to let u guys know wat happened aite these past few days...got the keys to my new house in marsiling...rite in front of woodgrove...or better known for AL-AMEEN .... then looked around the dusty house...me and my parents put our heads together as to the arrangement of our furniture and stuff....

recently, i just resumed silat training for deeparaya...the trainin was tough and more demanding...i had to do splits and rolls tht i have never done before...youch man!! it hurt like shit!! i wanted my baby to be there with me but she had dikir barat trainin...haiyah...met our new instructor abg firdaus...he was fierce2 at first but then i realised he was just one of us....we joked around in the dance studio while shikin threw and slammed us all over the fuckin place...ouch man!!! i went home with not 1, not 2 but 3 bruises on my back.....astargfirullahhalazim....sakit tau!!

Me, azri, fana, zahirah, syafiq, fidah and liyana also went to the library on one of the days....had fun eatin at long john silver....hmm...never did dat much studyin, except i got my corrections done for my maths...just wanna say sori to my dear tht i didnt tell her i was goin out...damn...my mistake...sory baby.....

my results: shit, bloody hell, fucking dissappointing, idiotic.......just got back my results and guess wat?? i failed!!! wooopheee!!! some one said in my report book tht i should set my prorities straight...wat the hell is tht supposed to mean?? u think i should forget about my girl and study?? maybe i should...but i wont coz its impossible...get it bitch?? so dont tell me wat my priorities are.....how can u block the person u love most out of ur head?? fuckin crazy.....

well i guess i have to start to buck up for my end of year exams...i vow to study harder...if i do well for my exams...i can have almost watever i want...freedom....can dye my hair watever colour...can spend as much time as i want with my girl...without being a berrier to anyone's life...now i wish to concentrate on my studies and not trouble anyone.....

to my girl....i love u..i miss u....i want u....and ur mine forever....JIWANG!!!! WOHOO!!!
.......................THE END................................

2006-09-11T06:40:00.000-07:00

these past few days has been hectic....one week of holidays has gone so fast...now its back to hell...during the holidays, i took part in the NJRC competition and represented my school...we won!! i was beating the shit out of the drums...i had fun...anyways....got my results..and its damn bad...very very bad...dont wanna tok about it...

got lotsa problems...dono where to start...i miss her but shes outta my hands....i guess there wont be a third chance for us...no more....i lost her...maybe its for the best, i dont know...just wanna experience new things....thinkin about joinin angah's band as a vocalist...can i sing?? hehe...not too sure bout tht....just wanna concentrate on my end of year exams comin up in a few weeks...and then i can have all the freedom i want...woohoo!!!

i wanna do well on my exams...be with my family and friends...no outstandin g committments...i think i also need time to myself...just relax and chill for a while...no relationship...no ties...notin...just me to figure out myself and my problems...its hard to let go of a girl u love....never will i forget her nor will i let her go from my heart...but i have let her hand go....i had to....

holidays are comin...oh man!! when?? i dono...real soon i guess...cant wait, in a few months...me sec 4?? hmm...its so quick....maybe wat my friend yara said to me was rite...time is gettin faster...we have to cherish it...make the most of it....life is short, live it...haha

i am stunned at ow fast my life has gone...i remembered the first time i put on a primary school uniform....then a secondary school uniform...walkin through the school gate with my dad to buy the school books...tht was 2 years ago...it seems like its only been 2 months ago...thts how fast life goes....

its not how many oppotunities u get, its wat u do with the oppotunities already given to you, i lost my oppotunity to make a girl happy...dont be like me....cherish ur relationships..haha i am sounding like a doctor...anyways...wanna go and study now...tata

2006-09-02T06:35:00.000-07:00

i feel guilty and stupid...never once had i felt this way....i need to let her go for her won self...but i can't...i just love her too much...maybe its my weakness...thts what people say...but i disagree....shes been my strength all this while...how can i let her go...dont worry...i won't...i promised myself i won't...but she can let go of me....deep inside i know i won't be the same without her...i won't be half the man i am without her....but my mind is made up...i want her to leave me....its for her own gd....may she be happy...without me....

friday is cabot day!!

2006-09-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

today actually got prayers rite?? but me and memet decided to go around the north and explore...muahaha...we were bored to death...met him at his block at around 12 and headed to sembawang, sun plaza...there we walked around alot and went to a shop called "sembawang" i know...so funni rite?? anyways...we then walked around somemore...lookin at everythin from shoes, soccer boots and even bras...haha ...azri2...biler ko nak insaf?? hehe

then azri dragged me to this prata shop on the first floor...phoooyoh!! the prata there nice man...except for the curry ah...bluergh....after stuffing ourselves...we then went to yishun!!!the bus ride damn long sia...me and memet slept in the bus....kesian kiter....

hohoho...nothin better to do mah...went to this game shop where azri bought a ps2 game...bla3...i was waitin and waitin for him to choose a game....he want to buy game like want to buy house like dat...sooo long!!! aiyerr...sori azri but its the truth man...

then we went back to north point and bought mcdonalds...whakaka....we got notin to do so we just went back to causeway point and then back home...zzz in the way back home...i met up with deshi, a japanese dude who speaks singlish , nurzawati and karina....haha missed u guys man...too bad u guys moved...tsk2

anyways....miss my baby...love u alot!! wanna tok to her now...tata

to this motherfucker who talked bad about my girl...i got somehtin to say to u...FUCK OFF BITCH!! kanina ciao ci bai buah pleh anjing!! eh jubo sial!! kau ckp lagi cam gitu aku letak jubo aku kat mulot kau....sialan nye puki..!!

okok chill2...love u dear...dont worry bout anythin ok?? and sori for my language guys...

2006-08-29T21:06:00.000-07:00

everything tht u wish for will not come through...
everything tht u hoped for is just a waste of ur thoughts...
everything tht u think is gonna happen will never happen...

ever had feelings like dat??
i am sure u have...maybe u readers wont understand...but i am really stressed rite now....
i know i havent been the best son...not the best fren...and certainly not the best boyfriend...i have let many people down with my actions and my behaviour...tonite is the nite i change...somethin happened to me today tht gave me a tight slap on my face...made me realize wtf i was doing....i thought i could get away with wat i did...but hey...if ur destiny is to get caught, u will get caught...i guess most of u know wat happened to me...i mean, from last year...i have changed alot...i dont know wat the hell i was tryin to prove by doing wat i did...i knew it was wrong but i couldnt help it....i pissed off many people around me and disappointed them...i knew i had to change....maybe its a sign from god to tell me tht he loves me and if i wont change for myself, he would force me to change....no matter wat, i vow to start a new, and i really mean it this time...i am aware tht the people who are close to me would probably think tht i am lying, but i am not...i realized wat kinda person i am, and realized wat i've done wrong...i am sory to my parents, my girl and my frens....i know they would probably never trust me no more...but i will make it to them, i will make it up to myself to change for the better and change myself.....no more gangs...no more everything...i wanna be a gd son, i wanna be a gd fren, but most of all...i wanna be a gd guy for my girl...i have tried...but i dont think i am half the person she deserves...i am truly sory for her for getting a guy like me....i wanna be a gd example to people out there and show them who i realy am....just a normal guy....

people might think differently...but really...i am just a normal guy...not a gangster...not a hooligan...i wanted to make a name for myself...and get respect...but now i realised...wat kinda respect is tht....people wont respect u for the number of sticks you smoke per day....they wont respect u for the number of people u have beaten up...people wont respect you if u have killed someone....people wont respect u if ur lying to urself and betraying urself.....thts wat i've learnt...
but i am pissed at myself for only realising my mistakes now....i wanna change, i have to change, i will change....i love my family, my frens....my girl.....they mean the world to me....if i lost their trust....i've lost my dignity....i got no one else but them...i would rather lose everything rather than lose them....and so...i will become a better guy...for everyone...i will become better for myself...

wat in the world??

2006-08-26T04:29:00.000-07:00

it was a fuckin saturday mornin, i was sleepin and dreamin of my girl when suddenly my phone rang.....heres the conversation...

me: hello

stupid idiot( not his real name): hello boy...

me: wussup??(still half asleep)

stupid idiot: boleh turon vista point kejap??

me: buat ape??

stupid idiot: tlg aku ah...ni antare hidop ngan mati....

me: ah asal plak??( gettin worried)

stupid idiot: tlg ah...dtg je ah...cepat...

me: ah okok....

i went and took a lightning bath and headed down to meet my stupid idiot friend at vista point, across my house...i went there and met him....heres the conversation...

me: eh asal ko suroh aku turon??

stupid idiot: (smirk)

me: eh aku jitak kepale ko!!

stupid idiot: takde papelah, cumer nak lepak ngan ko je...hehe..

i was like wat the fuck??!! so damn angry sia, he dragged me outta bed to meet him, saying tht there was an emergency, when he just wanted to see me...damn it...

then after tht i went home and went out again, this time to causeway point with azri, syafiq and ismail...we walked around alot....went to the video store where we rented a dvd...now i have to give it back...fuckers!! Aniways....we went back to my place and watched the movie and just hanged out together...hairi and kamarul came to my place too...then we went downstairs to play football....i didnt play coz my hip still hurts..hehe...shhhh azri!! anyways....some of the bitches ride my bike and guess wat, my front tire blew out...now i got to change it...gee thnks guys....
i miss my girl so much by the way....i mean, havent talked to her the whole day....oh man, shes at her grandma's new place...its real nice yo....wohooo...i guess it will only make her happier if her grandma was stayin nearer to her....

ok lah...wanna rest and study( rite.....)......ok tata yo and mah,i love u....

2006-08-21T20:39:00.000-07:00

hmm well...common test is here and to tell u the truth, i am fucked up rite now...i got alot of problems in my freakin head...my studies...my life at home...and the police...fuck em all....hmm...i fractured my pelvic bone durin soccer practice...fuckin hurts like crazie, it takes me 5 minutes to get up from bed and my pain killers are runnin out...fuck the pills...

started silat trainin recently and damn...tht shit hurts too...but anythin to watch my girl practicing dikir rite...u think i bother to join silat?? i dont think so...so far studies have been shit...got alot of troubles at home and in school...

got a big problem on my hands with the police...dont ask why...but shit...i need money...lots of it....
i aint askin no one to help me...i will try to solve my problems on my own....from now on, i will take responsibility for my own problems...if i couldnt take it no more, maybe i will ask for help...but untill i can do it myself, i will...

rite now, i have been sleeping in class more often...damn, in physics and bio, i have been sleeping non stop...and how i will do this common test, i dont know....i am just hopin for the best.....

and one more thing, i am missin my baby even more nowadays, i dono why.....i love her so much u know...and i hate it when shes angry at me coz she looks damn fine...just wanna say sori to her for watever i did ...

have u ever experience a kind of situation when everythin was goin so gd and then suddenly, problem after problem bombards ur life....well thts wat i am goin through...everythin was fine untill a problem came and was followed by another problem...i guess i should learn time management between my family, frens, and most of all my girl....

its hard manage ur teenagehood....with so many distractions ...sometimes in life, the best way to learn is through experience...i have learned plenty..

2006-08-01T02:34:00.000-07:00

hey yall!!! haha!! omg!! its been a long time since i updated my blog...haha!! anyways, while i was lazy to blog, life was as usual i guess...school was ok, well, i dont get anythin out of physics lessons...but maths is gettin more and more interesting i guess....

hmm...wat else eh....somethin has been buggin me, my right hip has been aching for 2 weeks or so...i cannot sleep or even wear my socks without experiencing pain...even when i sneeze or cough, it hurts, oh well haha...this friday i will start my silat practices...for deeparaya celebrations in school, i cant wait for tht one...its gonna be fun..haha!

i have been realy bz lately....with my family and friends...and not to forget my studies....everythin in life is goin great it seems, its only tht i miss my girl so much, its hard to spend time together...with cca's and other activities...we see each other, just not spend time together...it sounds cheezy but i miss her alot man...i know i know...ppl will say tht i just saw her in school, but hey....i cant help the way i feel...if u love someone, its hard to live ur life without thinkin about her...

haha ok before i start to get emotional,i better end here.... haha tata!!

2006-07-12T07:13:00.000-07:00

today was such a fun day!! wooohooo!!! went to school like usual...then after skool the hmt students had to go to the hall, so i waited for my buddies at the canteen with my dear...then my ice lemon tea spilled onto my pants, thnks dear...walao so cold u know!!

then hairi went to my house and we played the x box...wow!! so fun sey!! made lame jokes all the way!!! then we went to vista point to eat and hang out....wohooo!! hehe...tooo bad our other brothers werent there with us, so tht we could have fun together...next time yeah guys...

anyway, remember the maths test i said i was gonna fail?? well i passed!!! wooohoooo!!! alhamdullilah...thnk god...i was so scared of failing...phew...anyways, tommorow is gonna be a very long day....soccer practice and healthy lifestyle...wow, tired man!! ok lah, wanna sleep...tata

2006-07-09T21:45:00.000-07:00

bang2 boosh!!! whakaka!! okok...these past week have been a rough ride....especially physically, soccer trainin just started and i am damn tired!!! every morning must still come at 7 to do physical exercises...wth...tired!!! aiyor!! my leg bengkak2 oleady...and some more cannot send my girl to school coz she has to put on make up mah!! aiyah!! damn!!

hmm...took the e maths test and i think i can get 3/20 marks...at least not zero like some ppl ...hehe!! sori bro...( jgn terase) now havin fever...quite cold actualy, almost the whole day raining....anyways, i am realy worried about my leg, the rite one...its swollen at the smallest toe and olso swollen just under the knee....i cannot straighten my leg...walkin is like fuck!!! damn painful, cannot walk without bandages on...oh well...just have to bare with it i guess...

just now went to my girl's block to pass her somethin...then i was walkin to the bus stop, then it hit me...shit!!! i got no more money in my az link...fish!!! so wad did i do?? yup!! i walked home....but fun ah...bathing as well coz it was raining...muahaha!! so fun...slipped a couple of times but i thank my lucky stars tht i did not fall...then i met up with my fren black at vista point and just chilled with him...then just went home....

grrr its so cold...like cold storage...okok lame!! ok lah...want to chat...tata.. and gd luck FRANCE!!! somebody owes me somethin ....about the germany/ portugal match!! yeeeeha!

2006-07-03T04:15:00.000-07:00

this is when i am most happy, when my friends are around me, sharing laughter and problems...hmm...u know wat...probably now we should cherish our friendships and not think solely about ourselves....alot has happened over the past few days...just now, me, hairi, faqih and kamarul went swimmin...wow it was fun..the water was freezing but it was cool!! splashing around...then my girl came to watch...i was shocked man!! fuck!!! i said to faqih...faqih"apesal??" me"pompan aku lah !!" i replied as i covered my body with my hands...haha..overall its been a good week..my birthday's comin up so i am realy excited about tht...all in all, these past few days have realy made me think about who i am as a person, not who i wanna be...maybe u guys don't understand but this is just my self reflection...people have made me realise how much i am truely loved and i now know i am truely blessed to have a great family and a wonderful girl who i will not let go...i swear...ok then tata...and thnks to hairi's mum for belanjaing us prata....bye2 a'kum...

2006-06-23T04:20:00.000-07:00

went to johore on a school trip and to tell u the truth, i was asleep more than i was awake...well i guess it was fun going to MSAB>a school in johore....although havin most of the guys crowding my girl was kinda makin me fucked up.....oh well...bought chewing gums and was told by my teacher that we cannot bring them across the border...but me to listen to her? nonono...i stuffed the chewing gums in my shoe..aha...yup2 i know ...but hey, it improves the taste...

i also smuggled in some @@#$% if u know wat i mean...haha, thnks nura for helpin me out and to syafiq too...

ok then yesterday, me, azri, faqih, syafiq and ismail went swimmin at jurong swimming centre...wooo!!! it was fun yall...jumpin all around splashing water all over...and when we got out of the water..i had a realy bad flu!! shit!! but hey...i got to go down the slides and everythin...it was great...but somethin did happen to syafiq...his pants tore while he was swimmin....and my god...the tear was fuckin big...his pants was torn across his balls...haha poor thing...then we all head down to jurong point and ate macdonalds and emm...just went around browsing....i took a few pics of us there and emm i will try to put it on my friendster profile asap but thts it for now...wanna watch world cup...tata and to my dearest wife to be, i love u...

2006-06-17T14:58:00.000-07:00

walao wei! give me problem lah u nura!! now kena tag oleady... okok

the threes....

name three schools u went to:
#North view primary
#Woodgrove primary
#Riverside secondary

name three things in ur purse/bag:
#wallet
#smokes
#mp3 player

three things u do when ur really stressed:
#play soccer
#listen to songs
#smoke

name three places u go on a daily basis:
#toilet
#kitchen
#living room

name three favourite fruits:
#bananas
#peach
#mangosteen!!!

three names u go by:
#boy
#san
#ihsan

three of ur favourite foods:
#pizza
#potato chips
#sweet and sour fish

three things ur wearing rite now:
#underwear
#shots
#notin else...

the who's

who's in the house with u?
#my mom
#my dad
#my niece

who/what are u thinkin about rite now?
#nabilah
#world cup
#where's my phone
#wat is my mom cookin

who did u last tok to on the phone?
#nabilah

who do u sit next to in ur class?
#normal lessons= shangeeta
#malay class= shafiqah

who was the last person u told u loved?
#quite obvious rite?? figure it out ehem..

who do u wish u were rite now?
#wolverine

who gets on ur nerves the most at school?
#syafiq (haha)

the where's

where do u live?
#near vista point in woodlands

where is ur phone?
#i oso dono (phone kena confiscate liao)

where do u sleep?
#under the bed...wat a stupid question...of course on the bed rite...duh!

where is the last place u took a ride to?
#causewaypoint

where are u now?
#in hell...

the what's

what was the last thing u ate?
#rice with eggs

what colour shirt are u wearing?
#sori no shirt on me rite now...

what is the closest item near u tht is blue?
#my pants

wad do u like best about school?
#seeing her face...

wat is ur favourite solour/colours?
#blue
#red
#black
#silver

which do u wear more: jeans or shorts?
#shorts

wat is the last movie u watched?
#x-men 3

the when's

when did u start school?
# wo pu che tao

when is ur birthday?
#16 july

when did u last go to the mall?
#two days ago

when was the last time u bougt a pair of pants?
#last year

when was the last time u burned somethin?
#yesterday ehem2

T H E E N D

friday prayers

2006-06-16T04:50:00.000-07:00

peace upon u all....alot of things happened today...went to darul makmur mosque in yishun for friday prayers...haha reached so early tht me, azri and faqih had to sit down and wait for about one hour before the prayers started...hmm...then we went to north point coz they wanted to exchange their ps2 games...stupid buggers...just buy x box like me lah...no problems...haha..okok then went to long john and packet 2 combo ones...we then head to faqih house and watch vcd..not porn lah...some malay story...haha saiful apek power!!

after tht play soccer downstairs for a while...had a blast man...tryin to kick the ball to hit a tin can...nobody hit the can but me!! ahaha eventhough i cheated...well azri was kinda mad at me coz i cheated but who gives a shit...sorry dude...anyways...faqih went back home afterwards and me and azri went down to causeway point and i followed him around buying his food...haiyah tht boy...if u follow him to buy food..better bring a book..a thick one...haha!! juz jokin...then i went back home lah...

the past few days have been kinda miserable...not seeing my girl for so long...9 days in total...maybe 9 days seem like a short time to u guys..but for me...its been hell...oh well wat can i do rite?? hehe all i wanna say to my dearest girl is dat i love her very much and i miss her...alot!! and i mean alot!!! ok then this is where i stop..thnks for readin and emm..enjoy ur holidays guys...i know i am not...

2006-06-10T00:35:00.000-07:00

harusku meninggalkanmu,
tapi cinta ini,
tidak cukupi,
untukmu sayang,
ku harus pergi,

hanya kau,
yang meriangkan,
jiwa ku yang sepi,
dan hanya kau,
yang dapat pulihkan hatiku,

semoga engkau bahagia,
menjalankan hidupmu tanpaku,
kerna cinta yang sederhana,
apakah ini suratan takdir,
yang telah menentukan,
jalan cerita cinta kita,
yang terakhir.....

2006-06-06T03:49:00.000-07:00

hati gembira,
bila bersamamu,
hatiku duka,
bila kau tiada,

kusedari tanpamu,
tiada aku,
cintaku ini,
hanyalah untukmu,

jiwaku bersedih,
melihat engkau pergi,
titisan airmata basahi,
kusesal tidak memelukmu,
apa ini kenyataan,
aku...cintakanmu...

akan aku berterusan begini,
ku ingin ku berharap,
kau akan kembali,
jangan kau pergi,
oh jangan kau lari,

jiwaku bersedih,
melihat engkau pergi,
titisan airmata basahi,
kusesal tidak memelukmu,
apa ini kenyataan,
aku.....cintakanmu...

2006-06-04T04:47:00.000-07:00

nafas terakhir bagiku,
bila kau tiada,
di sisi ku sayang,
jangan kau pergi dariku....

selama ini,
kau telah bahgiakan aku,
dengan memberiku,
cinta yang hangat membara...

engkau telah,
membuatku dahaga,
cinta yang sejati,
hanya kau yang telah,
membuatku menginginkan seorang,
kini aku adalah milikmu sayang,
takkan ku pergi tinggalkanmu,
kerna kau yang satu,
yang ku cinta,
yang kuinginkan....

talentime

2006-06-03T05:03:00.000-07:00

holly holly holly holly! haha...went to talentime on thursday and got 2nd...sang with faqih...well the first placing guys got guitars and everything!! no fair! haha no lah...congrats to them...hmm...i was realy shakin like crazy but once i was in front of them...the feelings of scaryness....low of confidence and the feeling of everyone laughing at me was gone...i was actually havin fun singin!! woo!! haha then got the prize which was oreos and sweets...me and faqih gave them out to our frens who supported us !! thnks guys...and to those who supported mebut couldnt come...thnks guys!

i wanna say thnks to my sister for oushing me into makin a fool outta myself, azri and syafiq and hairi for supportin me...azza who shouted like mad.......haziqah and sharizan...and finally, my baby, nabilah.
also special gratitude to my bro and partner in crime faqih!!! ur the best man!!

well this talentime was realy fun but the presenters or the host realy made my darah up man!! haha well dats all for today folks..tata

2006-05-30T07:37:00.000-07:00

woooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!! weeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!
chalet was fun man...three days and three nites of fun!! starrin at the stars...lookin at the sea..wow beautiful man...so much to eat...bbq like hell ah....fish balls, chicken, and many more....power man...but then very the tired ah...cos everytime go and swim2 at sea then play games...quite tiring...oh well...hehe..........

omg...sho tired...now like wanna die man...first june is talentime...no practices yet??
die man...stress like fuck man...dah ah! bye bye

2006-05-25T07:46:00.000-07:00

hmm...i am happy...so very happy....my dad is recovering well after his major operation...thnk god...he is such a strong man...i admire his courage and his willingness to fite....i love u dad...

okok enough with the mushi2 stuff....got back my results and guess wat??? i failed...wohoooo!! i mean..oh man...damn it...haha...enough about my results...okok the past few days have realy taken its toll on me....changi now seems like my backyard....i live in woodlands by the way...almost everyday i go to changi to see my dad....and i tell ya...its damn tiring....my groin just got worst....i injuredit durin sports carnival....but it was ok...then yesterday stood in mrt for two hours....well lets just say my leg doesnt feel so good...

a maths: i dono wat the fuck to say about this freakin subjek...i kknow i can do it...hopefully hairi will stick to his word and coach me in tht...i hope so...probational test is just aroaund the corner....
oh well i will give it my best shot...if i dont hit my target...at least i knew i tried my best....

oh man...i am atpunggol rite now...my sis's place...tommorrow i have to go all the way to wdlnds...and sit through skool...if it wasnt for history lesson, i would be at home sleeping through the hours of which i gotta get out of bed and head for skool...damn it....cant wait to get outa secondary skool life....cannot wait for poly....oh well....we can just wish...but can we work for it...i will try, gettin my grades just now made me realise dat i have potential...i got to study, i aint no genius, even giniuses study...oh man...

i just wanna say thnks to all the ppl who have cared for me...especially my dear and my lovely sis...u guys are the best...all i hope for is to see my dad happy and him abled to walk again, slowly, insyallah...ok then i wanna chat...thnks for readin and tak care...bye bye...

woooooooo

2006-05-19T07:07:00.000-07:00

well well well....wad can i say...i got seven blisters on my rite and one big blister on my left...oh well...shit happens rite? haha ok hmm...wad happened today?? hmm...went to vista point with mira, hairi, badron, ismail and firah...and ate..badron i dono lah how he eat his chilli went into my eye!! i cried siak!! okok then went to hairis house and play game...hmm...went home at arnd 3.30 then slept!! woooooo!

my com ah i tell u like shit sak!! ayoyo...want to masok friendster take 30 minutes...walan can go mandi then tido still cannot go inside friendster..but then after installin firefox then easier ah..thnks faqih for introducing me to firefox...haha

eh! yesterday got one woman call me at nite...woman:hello, ihsan ader?, me: yer ni ihsan, woman: awak tau ni siaper?, me: saye tak tau..ni siaper?, woman: boleh kenalan??, then i realised it was my malay teacher...whakaka!! so bad sia she..play trick on me...aiyah, now must go chop my passport so can go johor durin the holidays...suey man..troublesome...lucky got my sis...can help me...whakaka...

hmm wat else ah...ouh yar today play soccer durin pe...after tht went to toilet...saw my skin hangin out..scary sia...didnt care and just wear back my shoe..go home, berdarah oleady...hai...
just wanna say sori to my best fren nabilah for wat i said....very the very sori.....

2006-05-16T06:32:00.000-07:00

hey yall...wooo got back my results...damn all fail siak...oh well go and die lah...so what fail....brush ur shoulders off and start all over...hmm...now i dont know wats happenin to me...feel like all i ever wanted is rite in front of me...but still, i am not happy....i have to change my ways...wanna concentrate on my studies...i dono how to make her happy...god help me...

sometimes i feel like i am needed, sometimes i feel like a burden to ppl...i dont know...and to the mats who kacau me the other day...bertawakal lah..aku doakan korg semoga taubat....kalau tak taubat jugak...gi mampos lah korang..aku tak tau ape nak cakap lagik...oh well...all my sciences failed...the paper was hard...my foot lah!! hard kebabai..so damn bloody hard ah!! citot....how to pass like dat?? idiots!! maybe i should start studying lah....during exams i play game...whakakaka!! now wanna blame teachers...and to azri!! congrats on getting ur egg in a maths man!! haha... eh guys...later during june holidays u all taunt my house see world cup ah...watch alone not fun ah...hehe ok lah now wanna eat..tata

i am back!!

2006-05-15T05:10:00.000-07:00

hi guys!! missed me?? hehe sori lah ...my kena virus...damn suey..but nvr mind lah...didnt miss my com dat much...hmm....well while i was gone...nothing much happened...i just wanna say thnks to nabilah for her company all this while....i love her...hmm...

recently got sports carnival...i took part in soccer..and guess wat we won gold...wow...it was special...somethin i never felt before....all thnks to kaka, jun jie, busty, rooney and fabregas, we won!! my dream..it came true...and havin my classmates supportin us...wow!! u guys are the best!!

hmm...wat else yar?? oh yeah...my daddy just came back from the hospital...poor thing..wheelchair sia...nvr mind..i will take care of him...i will try my best!!

well dats it for today folks!! pls tag yeah...tata gd nite!! god bless...

today

2006-04-28T06:58:00.000-07:00

yo wussup ppl..haha sho sho tired man....go to changi then back to woodlands then back tochangi and..well u get the idea..hmm...just now after skool went jalan2 outside skool thnks nura, jannah and farra maggi for accompanying me...then went to cp with azri, syafiq, faqih and his dear hana to eat at macdonalds..thnks azri for buying for me...mua got headache ah hehe...then went home, changed and went out to changi hospital, one day without seeing my dad is hell man...tired of taking mrt but i love him so much...cannot wait for him to get home...thnks seri for keeping me company while in mrt...boring sia...sori to desturb u, haha u watchin movie rite?? haha well syaz happie birthday yer...ok skool was per usual, got social studies test which i did not study for...u see yesterday nite, i came back from hospital at around 12 and went to sleep...then i woke up at 4 am to study my social studies notes...noting was absorbed in my brain... went to skool with nabilah half asleep...like zomby sia...during the test, cannot concentrate...kept thinkin about my dad and how he was doing...oh man this is hard...the paper was ok lah bnut i anyhow do oni..watever i can remember i wrote...

well tommorow is a whole new day....goin to see my dad realy early....woohoooo, can acompany him breakfast...but then aisey man...my mom wanna go in the afternoon, but afternoon i wanna study...i guess i gotta go alone in the morning...to changi sia!! so damn far...so tired, so sick of goin alone...but never mind lah, wat to do...i just wanna say thnks to my friends who have supported me and helped me through this hard period, especially to hairi, azri, faqih, syafiq badron and others who have cared about me.....thnks for ur concern and to all the girls as well...

its been a long time since i gone out man, cannot wait for june holidays, wanna dye my hair!! want to go out!! want to watch a freakin movie!! want to hang out!! wanna go jalan2!! with my friends!! go and hang out with my family!! want to be relaxed!! no stress!!! ahhhh!!! but most of all, i just want my dad to come home...hopefully soon...

ok lah now wanna chat, tata!!

2006-04-26T06:06:00.000-07:00

hello readers...so many things happenin now...common test...oh shit!!1 havent done my summary...k nvr mind lazy ah...oh well....today went to hospital...with my bros..syafiq and azri...thnks guys...without u guys...i got no one to acompany me... nak harapkan yg laen??? pundek ah...ok well if ur wondering, my dad is in hospital...oh man i cannot see him on tht bed man...my heart like wanna explode...very sad...imagine ur dad, ur best firend, ur adviser, on a bed in pain...at the mercy of doctors...oh man...and my mom kesian sey...must everyday go hospital alone...at changi some more...i pitty her...so alone and so tired...hmm i wanna say thnks to azri and syafiq again for acompanying me...thnks guys...u are the best and thnks to faqih, hairi and to khai, hana,nabilah, farrihin and deenah for showing the slightest concern...

ate at the hospital with azri and syafiq..ate nasi lemak...powerrite guys!!!??? i told u the nasi lemak there was power...k then went to see my dad...all sad2 and tired...pitty him...i pray he gets well...its different at home without him...its so quiet...so ...so...different...i guess i have been treating those around me like crap...maybe its becoz i need ppl and their shoulders...its so hard for me rite now...but when i look around...nvr mind...

just wanna say sori to tht special person..i guess i was wrong in treating u differently from my other friends...we are 'just' friends rite...i am so sroi for thinkin otherwise...i syiok sendiri...maybe i needed her rite now and wanted her support and needed her love and concern..but we are just friends...maybe she bz waving at others...and i am waving from behind at her...thts how i feel...so fine...i am sori...sori for askin u out...it wont happen again cos thts wat u dont want..and friends dont go out together tht often...sori for lovin u the way i do...i know its just me but i have no regrets...i love u..but if we are just friends...as long as ur happy...i hope u get success and wish u have a gd life...hgope all u said u wanted to achieve for urself u achieve it...i wish u the best of luck...

itukah dia,
kekasih yg pernah berjanji,
memberi cinta,
untukmu sepenuh hati,
ia akan menyesal sesuatu hari nanti,
kekasih mu ini ingin mu kembali,

tahukah engkau,
ia tak sepadan dgn mu,
walau beribu,
bisik janji ia merayu..........

2006-04-22T07:52:00.000-07:00

i have been having alot of problems at the moment...school...friends...some text missing...so i turned to friends i have hung out with...friends tht i have known for a long time and havent contacted...i changed..well bad company i guess...all i wanna say is tht i am sori to all my friends for turning towards the bad...and especially to khai....sori for turning bad....i just wanna say to my friends tht i will stop ehem immediately...turn around and change..for the better...to the person ppl know i am..to the ihsan i recognise and was loved by a special girl ...i knew wat i did was stupid and now i want to make things rite...i know ppl hate me...and ppl think i am stupid...i will change myself guys...sori to my close friends...sori to my best fren...sori to my bros....sori to myself...i guess wanting my problems to go away only created bigger ones...i have learned my lesson...its a hard one...sori to nabilah for creating problems for her...and i still love u...will wait....will cherish...will respect...will study hard....will do everything...for ppl around me...but most importantly i must do it for myself....i learned tht doing things and constantly thinkin about others..doesnt always pay off...wat i do for others...will others do for me? i dont think so...and to ppl out there...jgn terase...just wanna say sori to all again...pls my friends dont leave me now...cause its da point when i need u guys the most...it will be hard quitting wat i have been addicted to...but if its for myself and those around me, i will do it.....

and this is a paragraph to nabilah... i wanna say i am sori for hurting u....i love u...i dont care wat ppl say...

i sayang u
i nak u
tunggu sampai mati pon,
tetap tunggu,
cinte tak akan mati,
takdir menentukan,
tapi akan i berusaha...

2006-04-21T08:13:00.000-07:00

well today was ok lah...walk2 durin hl...boring ah, want to walk with my best friend, but she bz mah so nvr mind...then after skool went to hairi's...ordered pizza..haha yum2...we played games and truth or dare...watched ghost movie...so damn funny sia the movie..supposed to be scary ah...syafiq was like covering his eyes, scary wuss! ok then went to the staircase and ehem2!! haha thnks azri and faqih...hmm then went home lor...nabilah went for interview to be model like dat ah...wow congrats girl haha...but toobad must pay 288...ish3...mane nye 15 yr old can pay tht kinda money...siow ah lerr! ok lah now wanna chat, update later on..tata

2006-04-20T06:14:00.000-07:00

wowowowowowow!!!! wat a freakin terrific day it has been!! probably one of the best days of the year!! well firstly went to school with my best friend nabilah ....then behind us were azri and faqih..they play ball kick here kick there...ended up losing the ball..haha! so funny...me and nabilah laughed like hell...sori guys...then school as per usual...got spot check siak...so my hair ah...lepeh like pancake...later tht hesley tok alot siak...got english test...cannot concentrate...see my best frend opposite of me...sniffing and sniffing her nose...kesian sey...tak boleh tahan ah...cannot see ppl sick, especially her....then after school went to play soccer with faqih, azri,hairi, syafiq and thaqif( mama lemon)...badron stopped by....play and play then ismail kicked the ball and it hit the post..but then went straight to syafiq face ...!!! i was like...ouch! thts gotta hurt....i tried to help him...then he just went home...poor guy, hope ur feeling better bro...hmm then play under void deck cause ppl wanted to use basketball court...cut my toe and i saw blood on the floor...then i saw my toe...i was like...shit!! so much blood ah...didnt even feel it..but now very the painful ah...hana then gave me plaster...thnks hana..then went to shop and bought water...wow!! gulp3!!power..

then hor we went to hairi's house...phoooyo!!! best sak..had a realy gd time...watched ghost of mae nak...faqih was screaming!!! like mad person...but then fun ah..hairi plak went under his blanket and baring sebelah me....wakakaka penakot semue!! then hairi cooked for us telor and we ate with rice and chicken...yum2!! thnks hairi!! ur the best bro!! after tht we didnt know wat to do so we made a video...haha!! tht was fun siak!! we all dressed up!! i wore tie!! haha!! and a cap!! with my uniform!! so stupid...but realy my bros are the best...haha!!if u wanna see the vid, feel free to tok to faqih...ok lah...now want to chat...tata everybody and to my best friend, i hope u get well soon dear...i love u alots!! insyallah.....someday...wooooooooo!

2006-04-19T03:28:00.000-07:00

kuingin memilikmu,
hatiku hanya untukmu sayang,
aku kan menunggu,
masa terhenti melihat wajahmu,

kuingin mencintaimu,
cintaku hanya untukmu sayang,
dikau telah pergi,
ku harap kau akan kembali,

cintaku ini,
bagaikan bulan bintang,
kuingin mengatakan,
kumencintaimu,
dengan sejujurnya.

2006-04-17T07:59:00.000-07:00

separuh jalan,
cerita kami berakhir,
waktu terhenti,
pabila bersamamu,

jangan terpedaya,
dengan emosi,
dgr suara hati,
bukan suara angin,

kau tahu kuinginkanmu,
terlekat menunggumu,
ada kau bahgia tanpaku...
fikirkanlah......

2006-04-15T05:03:00.000-07:00

mes amis....football is like fencing, its a noble art...whakaka!! okk azri came over in the morning..wow fun man!! thnks bro for keepin me company...did malay proposal shit and then played soccer...tried to do joga bonito but more like yoga buah buto...hehe...play untill like wat sia...k k then went home and bathed then went out again...to fetch my best friend and send her back home...half way ah...rain elephants and giraffes man!! omg!! damn it...but i happy ah actually...(some text missing) hehe....sat under the void deck with her...stare at the rain....like love story like dat...anyways...gua tahan gua punya cold ah...bloody cold man...freezing!! naseb baek..(some text missing)..decided to run in the rain...wakau!! basah siol...tapi takpe, the main thing is dat she went home safely...then after sending her...i went back home ah....dipakse naek bas tetapi ez link bo liao so walk home ah...20 minutes walk...not so bad...then went to vista point and bought my daddy kacang...then went home ah...untill now....dono do wat siak...hehe ok lah..wanna chat with my best friend and sister..tata

2006-04-13T08:18:00.000-07:00

today was cross country day..wooooo!! went to school with nabilah...friends mah....then went to see oc show at hall...power!! hairi like slenge...nabilah say one...haha...aniwaes...then got english....then got malay...me and faqih registered for talentime...then went to hairi's house...an then met the rest at cp and ate at macdonalds...haiya moody sia...then went to macritchie ...the bus pack siak...the rest of them went in the bus oleady...me stuck with fazilla and nab...had fever by the way...like wanna die man...seriously...so freakin cold!!! but lucky got someone to keep me warm...ehem2...then sampai at macritchie...took my number tag and started running...i was feeling so cold!!! stumbled on a couple of rocks!! there were so many ppl in front of me...i wanted a trophie!! then when i finally crossed the line... i was given a card which says 11...i couldnt believe my eyes ah... me number 11? i am gonna get a trophie!! woooooooo.......haha aniwaes after takin the prize and shit...we went back to bishan mrt...badron wanted to go eat satay at orchard...walan so fucking far...so i didnt went ah...(some text missing)..aniways...went ome with nabilah and syafiq...sori syafiq for not accompanying u ah...gua bz ah..ehem2 (some text missing) u all no need to know wat happened in mrt...syafiq shh!!! hehe...then when at cp, ate long john with syafiq...like stupid idiot sia carry trophie around cp...haha but happy ah...oh well nvr mind...k lah tired ah..wanna sleep...tata

2006-04-11T04:52:00.000-07:00

kenangan bersamamu kasih......whakaka dah start jiwang sak aku...oh well today was anormal day...school as usual, got pft after school and ouh yar, i broke up with my girl....noting much happened lah...i understand wat happened and her reasons...oh well if tht is wat she wants then i cannot stop it...i'll wait for u even if it takes a long time...i will wait...best friends for now....but i will wait...destiny is already written....we'll see where it goes...anyway, twisted my knee when i fell during shuttle run...alhamdullilah tak patah kaki...won badron and hairi!! yes ah!! alemak tomorrow got a maths test...havent study and dont understand a thing sia...mati sia like dis...hmm...

let me see...ouh yar!!! got talenttime ah!! malay one..me and angah decided to join together2...haha should be fun...dont care win or lose, as long as get the experience...and girls lookin at me...hahaha no lah juz playin....wanna try to forget someone u love is hard ah...especially when u have made sacrifices, i mean alot of them...ok lah dont wanna tok about this....as i was saying, decided to sing aku menunggumu by peterpan...and as i was saying earlier, i will wait for her coz i love her very much and when i sing this song later on, it goes out to especially her...hopefully it wont rain when we sing...then later they blame us coz i sound realy bad but angah can realy sing man...mat rocker!! whakaka...dah ade ic seh budak tu...hmm...anyways riversidians reading dis ...pls support me and angah when we sing talenttime...hopefully can win...lalalalala...and to whom it may concern...i will wait for u...

2006-04-08T04:54:00.000-07:00

oh my god!! the past two days have been fun3!! i mean yesterday my school close coz got oc...so almost all my members got oc sia...so bored...i decided to ring syafiq and we went out with nura and jannah...wakau! fun siak...walk2 around at city hall, then went to somerset then went to dono where lah.. i actually wanted to get somethin for my dear...then saw taka jewellery...so asked around ah...i wanted to buy for her diamond necklace but then all the big rocks were $$100+++, i aint got tht kinda money man!! so juz bought the small one lah...thts all i could afford...hehe...then went back to cp and ate long john with syafiq and nura....then went home lor...

then today, woke up bright and early to go to work...hairi smsed me in the morning and told me he couldnt come to work...i was shocked man...i dont wanna go alone..after much persuasion, he eventually came ...phew lucky man, then we went to bukit gombak stadium and worked for 4 hours...then collected our pay and went to cp...ate at macdonalds, then at 12.50 went to mrt station and waited patiently for my dear...tunggu punya tunggu punya tunggu!!! 1.20 then she came...walan feel like stupid person stand there waiting for new year...nvm...aniways...gave her the present...hope u like dear...then i went home and changed...and straight went back out again...met the gang at cp then we all went to jurong to watch movie .....once there, we found out tht the tickets cost 9.50...wtf??!!?? so expensive...aiyoh now broke oleady mah...got pay a little bit then now must spend...like shit ah...then we decided to play counterstrike at ang mo kio...lucky me memet and angah remembered the place...once there, we found out the place fully booked...citot! me angah and memet went inside to tok to the cashier...then we went out and there were 4 police officers surrounding our friends...omg...who died??? i asked myself...then firah told me tht ismail threw a bottle cap downstairs and nearly hit the police officers...i was like huh?? its just a fucking botlle cap u bloody moron...they took our ez links and called us one by one for questioning, they asked for my address and stuff, then they told me tht i am underaged to be in such a place...i was about to slap that stupid moronic face..i was about to say get a branch u fucker! but then islam mah so must sabar rite...inside the shop got so many pri schl students and i am underaged?? fuck u sir! then we just left and went to kfc, called my baby up and told her wat happened, felt like crap sia, missed her so much...haha! we all got nicknames, i am idiotic ihsan but badron one the best, 'busty' badron...whakaka, i gave him one...!then went to time zone at causeway point and play basketball...fun like crazy ppl sia...walk around like tawaf like tht...but thts not all tht happened, i was showing firah this rock song so we were walkin and sharing the mp3 player..then got one chinese dude walked rite in the middle of us...so the ear piece went out of my ear but one of it was still stuck to firah's ear however, the mp3 was still in my pocket..so i ended up hugging the dude to get my mp3 straightened out, the mak ciks all laughed at me...so paisey but wat to do sia...thnks alot firah!then after tht went home lor...walked home tht is...ok lah now want to study..tata

2006-04-06T05:27:00.000-07:00

today was a normal day i guess...went to school with nabilah....then in school study ah...duh!!! then last period was mothertongue...then cekgu bayah said got talentime for the students....then ppl started lookin at me...wth man..aiyerr paisey sak...i juz act blurr ah...after skool faqih ngan badron cute sak..."ihsan ko join ah...aku sokong kau 100 percent!!! masok ah san talentime" i was like hmm...no way! i dont think so!! paisey siak so many ppl starin at u sing..kalau sedap takpe jugak...
aniways lucky hairi ajak me go his house..if not i go home alone again....scary sia walk alone.. then at his saw one soccer ball...so i practice a few skills ah...like shit siak...haha but i got to do the ronaldinho one!! haha in ur face guys!! haha then at three the guys got oc so i just walk home lor...3 km sak..so far but wat to do want to save money mah...walk alone like shit ah...fuck man...dont wanna walk alone again..i guess i have to....oh well...k if u are interested...check out my seven vid under 'links' tata yall

oh man!!!

2006-04-03T06:56:00.000-07:00

well yeah....sucky day...in the morning woke up and findin my locker keys and well...oh well its gone!! oh my god! find the whole house...no have..like crazy man..sori mom for shoutin at u...hehe...then i juz gave up lah and went to skool with my girl!!! hmm then she say wanna go home with me...i was like tercengang ah...not expected...hari aper ni dier nak jln ngan aku?? haha so i said yes...walao in skool got tsunami skid durin assembly..damn boring!! sweating like big fat pig!! then sent my girl to mrt station and went eating with the boys...me, badron and syafiq lor waited at long john for like half an hour be4 azri, hairi and ismail came to meet us..azri like rocky, swollen eye..haha! padan muka! hehe no lah...zubair hit him with balloon then become swollen..style sial...then he tok like mat drug, squinting as he talks...after that went to look at hp plans but still havent decided which hp plan to take...so confusing...then went to duplicate my lost key but the shop say cannot...bla3...so juz went home ah...then to my surprise....i saw my brother!! wooooo! wat a nice visit..long time never see him...missed him siak...then watch tv with him and lepak2..kesian ah, my bro saket...demam tinggi macam petronas tower....then created blog for him..hehe later i link ah...ok lah, now i want to chat with my buddy memet..tata guys...

2006-03-31T20:44:00.000-08:00

fuck! fuck! fuck!! those were the words i said when my thumb bent 90 degrees....bush!! next time dont hit the ball so hard lah hor...aniways few days back got soccer training...boring bla3...then yesterday haziqah birthday...fun3!! all wet but fun...burnt my finger playing with matches but still fun, before haziqah's birthday went to macdonalds and ate ice-cream with the guys hairi, syafiq and the botak head ismail...haha fun ah....like single bujangs like dat...hmm....then went for haziqah birthday...azza hyper sial!! ko makan aper ah??haha but fun ah...everyone was abit giler ah....abit oni....then wanted to take my girl home after her art thing...but she don want...so went to hairi house...play game..play dress up...i dressed up as terrorist!!! faqih and ismail were soldiers wat..ncc boys!! wakakaka! then they all went for oc...so i went home ah....wat else to do?? walked home from hairi house about 3 km ah....walked along my old pri school...wow so many memories.....oh man missed my pri skool days...no problems, so free...noting on my mind...then yesterday nite kena maen by my girl...thnk u very much ah eh!! however i didnt find it funny.....

nowadays ah...i feel so crappy.....since wat she said...everything like shit....oh man...i dont feel happie anymore....how can i look at her without thinkin about wat she said....every guy will feel the same way....fuck man...cant u juz leave her alone with me!! dont desturb anymore lah!! fuck off cibai!! get ur own life!! find ur own girl!! and stop messing with mine!! kanasai! so many problems ah!! nabe! now i feel like i dont exist anymore to her...like i am not important....i feel excluded...oh well nanti ur friends say u spend tooooooooooo much time with me rite?? i guess so...i mean...i walk to skool with her every day for 5 minutes.!! in class we hardly talk so 5 minutes a day is a loooong time!!!! i go home alone......aku ajak dier kelua dier malas...so how can u say that later on..ur friends will say u spend too much time with me?? wat logic is dat?? use ur brain ah use ur brain!!! think before u say.....if u dont want to spend time with me juz say so!!! i will leave u alone!! and yar!!! wat u said is rite!! ur not wrong!! ur never wrong lah dear!! ur never wrong!! i am wrong!! i always wrong!!! well have fun with ur friends!! no need to think about me....i am used to being alone....

2006-03-29T03:30:00.000-08:00

aku melihat raup mukanya,
ditopeng kesedihan dan kepiluan,
aku mahu mengatakan sesuatu,
sesuatu yang perlu,

namun aku malu,
untuk berhadapan dengan mu,
kerna sebak di dada,
aku tahu segalanya,

jangan kau berpurah,
menutup jiwamu dari aku,
aku tahu segalanya,
dan aku malu,

malu tidak dapat memberi kasih,
yang engkau mahu,
lebih dekat aku melangkah,
lebih jauh kau menolak,

kau telah berubah,
kata-katamu itu,
tidak mencerminkan,
cerita yang sebenarnya,

mulutku bisu,
apa salahku,
aku mencintaimu,
salahkah aku,

aku sedar pendirianku,
tidak istiimewa,
tetapi ku telah berusaha,
membuatmu bahgia,

aku tahu kau merinduinya,
demi kebahgiaanmu,
ku rela melepaskan tangan,
supaya engkau ceria kerna,

biar kau bergembira bersamanya,
dari menderita bersamaku.......

2006-03-27T23:59:00.000-08:00

well juz got back from school...notin to do...all alone....so tired...so sad ah in a way....used to sleep late at nite tokin to her...chat with her untill my fingers crack...walk with her so happily and jokin around...but now, i sense a change...the way she looks at me, its different...she is like bored to look at me...does that makes sense?? i dono lah maybe its juz me missing her so much...never realy got a chance to tok to her...never realy had the chance to spend time with her...always so bz doin dis doin dat....i dono wth is wrong with me...expecting too much...must learn to relax more and be alone and independant...it aint easy being without her but i guess i juz have to try...for so long, the thought of us studyin together has been crawling all over my mind, but when i ask her if she is free the answer is always no so i am kinda embarrased to ask...from experience lah...later malu like hell...now i dono wat to say to her, cause i feel like she doesnt wanna tok to me...does that makes sense also?? ahhh!!! so stressed...u know evrytime i feel so guilty coz she is stuck with me...look at me and then u look at her....i dont deserve this...i dont deserve her...realy!!! she deserves someone who is all rounded better than this looser who is writing this stupid post...wth??so sori for sayin this but realy times have changed...i dono wat to think?? issit juz me or is she realy bored of me??? i mean stalled smses, stalled chats, stalled conversations...well maybe she is juz too bz for me....i dono?? i guess i wont ever know...

2006-03-27T00:27:00.000-08:00

hallo there ppl....!!???!>>>!?? haha so bored sia at home...never go to school today...a mixture of factors lah...firstly i am was lazy to go, econdly, slight fever, thirdly, my rite knee has swelled up, and lastly, i have multiple cuts on my legs...long story...okok so i woke up at 8.30...hairi woke me up...then i continued sleepin rite untill 12...oh man!! the best sleep i have had in weeks...then did my history hmwk...sho tired!! and then slept again untill 2 pm...woke up..took a bath and then watched tv with my mom....actually the tv watched my mom...everytime she watch tv she will sleep one...i am so alone...should have gone to school man...so bored at home...bever thought i would say this but i miss school...oh well gtg lor..wanna sleep..tata

2006-03-25T06:48:00.000-08:00

wooooooooo! so fun sia today!!!went to changi for angah's birthday party!!! walao so far siak but then ride taxi lah...haha so much fun...well me, azri, hairi and kamarul went to cp to buy faqih present...walk2 for 1 and a half hours and bought him some stuff ah....t-shirt oni...wakakakaka! okok then waited for tht stupid botak head to come so late...then went to yishun to meet firah, badron and mira...then we went to faqih's house help carry stuff...then once at changi.....we started playing football...waduh!! fun sia...but then started to rain....damn it!!! we went to the beach and chilled, the sky was grey and blue shimmering in the glaze of the sun, the wind blew strongly against my face, my feet buried in the sand, it reminded me of my girl....okok jiwang oleady...then play soccer on the beach...so fun but then got alot of cuts and bruises...the socer like rugby sia...then ate barbeque!!!! woooooooooo!power ah!!! faqih parents so hospitable!! they rock man!!
then at arnd 7++ went back home...in the bus, so quiet...everyone so sleepy...then went to admiralty to makan kfc...waduh so sedap...so long never eat kfc....burp..wakakaka! then went home alone...walk home about 1 km......so scary...try walkin under dark bloks at 10 pm....very scary...not becoz of hantu!!! but becoz af the gangs ...anihow,got back home safely...haha ok lah gd nite yall....

2006-03-23T04:10:00.000-08:00

today was a normal day i guess...haha juz jokin!!! we had that public speaking thing in class and got back our report books...one fail siak!!! citot! nvr mind, swear i shall work harder ah!! okok aniwaes the speakers today were power!!! i mean they were realy good man!!! full of action they conveyed their speeches...i was scared cause miss hesley were picking the nemaes randomly...lucky no need to make my speech...wakakakaka.....ok aniwaes...did not eat during recess..like lazy to eat ah...but after skool ah...wow! so hungry, cannot tahan untill go home...must eat on the spot!! go buy rice and ate untill there was notin left...then hairi said somethin about football...then i rwalised!! omg!! i have not gone for training for a long time!! shit!!! mr ho warning me oleady must go...if not no attendence and no cca point!! wasted rite??so i thought haiyah juz go there and run abit then go home lah...thats wat i did...so fun man!! changed boots with sap....f-50 man!!! left foot grey and rite one was white..stylo ah!! hehe....scored once but was so tired...then kena marah by my girl ah...but dear i didnt exert lah...juz kicked a few balls...then went home with lloyd and khairul...wah fun siak....lloyd saw girl ah then turn 360 degress to look at her...i was concentrating on my ice kacang lah...haha but today was fun .....so sori dear for not listening to your advice k??? veri the sori...it wont happen twice....love u...

2006-03-21T21:36:00.000-08:00

boy oh boy...wat a day i juz had.....well as usual, slept at 1 am or was it 2 am..??? cannot remember ah...well somebody cried and made me sleepless!!! omg she cried, it wasnt meant for u to cry dear!!! it was meant to make u happy...so so sori for makin u cry!!???@@##$$%%^&*(( so so sori dear...haha...feel so stupid...well my mom has been stressed out over the pas few days and bad mood ah....we are having intentions of moving house and my mom is so stressed out!! kesian sey, i pitty her so much....aniweas got notin to do and i juz got back from skool...wkakakakaka!today went home all alone again!!! but lucky no one to bother me, now i phobia oleady...ya lor...so suey ah!! my dudes got oc and cca's and my girl got art club which she 'loves' very much.....hehehehe....anyhow...got notin to do and wanted to save money for ehem, walked home all the way from skool?!>>?:>:?> oh man! so damn far..!!! especially if u have legs like mine...walked for 20 minutes then reach home, once at home, merebah ke atas katel! with my bags still enveloping me....felt so tired...so bored...no one to tok to...no one to kacau or sms...i dont want to desturb ppl...and emm...juz wanna say thnks to angah for inviting me to ur b'day party...thnks man...alemak nak kene belikan present ah....aku kasi kau ice cream potong bleh? boleh ah...boleh blah! jgn harap ape2 dari aku...haha juz playin...thought about askin my dear to come with me to faqih b'day party so i wont be alone.....but then think and think and think ah...should i bring her?? damn! i want to but i feel bersalah u know...like she has better things to do other than follow me lar hor...well guess will be goin with ...emm...with...hmm...who ah?? i oso dono lah, hairi nak menggatal, badron later with mira...then i alone ah?? haiyah alone pon alone lah...ader mp3 yang dah sod ni....dah bersyukur...so sien man...berdikari sungguh menyedih kan..keseorangan..haha dah start lah ni jiwang aku...

wow ca2 seems so far away...but if u think about it, its juz around the corner.....i wanna study hard dis time around and swear i will!!! i will work harder!!! and will help my dear out!!! but then ah...so many things to do!!! speech! omg! speech! tommorow! speech! damn it! mati liao but must chill yall! ok lah i shall stop here...want to practice my speech untill i memorise like al-fateha...ok lah tata bye and 8 kisses dear....

2006-03-21T02:06:00.000-08:00

my oh my....sho tired!!!!!!!! went to skool with my best friend, my future wife, my one and only love, my everythin, my world....okok stop here ah...aniwaes...today was quite ok ah...got back history paper and i failed...omg!!! i passed everythin but history...damn it! i think theres only like 4 passes in our class....but i expected it lah...i knew it...although i was realy confident about combined humans, it was a smaking to my ass....failed so terok!! but never realy affected me ah...cause so used to failing, especially last year...but bersyukur to my other subjects....i did well this common test...i mean, first time gettin an a for maths in secondary skool....but my history spoils it all...but i knew that i have to work harder next time around and never repeat my mistakes.....i knew i shouldn't feel sori for myself but instead, look at the positives.....its not how u fail, but wat u can learn from ur failure...i look at my paper and i promised myself that i will work harder! very much harder!!! so in class, everybodywas moody and sad...i saw my girl on the other side of the class and went to her to see how she did, i was praying in my heart that she passed.....i guess she didn't too....as soon as i asked her about her results, she juz stood up from her chair and walked away from me...i was like....ok...i guess she is not in the mood to talk...felt so stupid sia....like i dont exist like dat...like she didn't care, like she did not wanna tok to me...so i then chased after her...but then my knee suddenly froze sia and i was like oh man! not again...this cannot be happenin now...so i decided to go to the toilet and rest for a while..walan this knee realy bad man! i knew she was in a bad mood ah, so decided not to tok to her for a while...untill she cooled down....didnt even get a chance to eat man durin recess...but then after skool, ah kau! lantak ah...i went to the nasi stall and oddered
food like i was rich...mak cik nasi beef steak lebeh nasi and lebeh steak eh...and kasi saye tu kebab...i juz couldnt resist man!! so damn hungry!!! ate like babi like that...then drank one packet of ice lemon tea and two packets of milo...oh man..so full, went home and headed strait to the jamban and released tension...u know wat i mean lah....like volcano like tht....went outta my ass like rocket...like atom bom!!! haha but did have fun with azri, went to causeway point and searched for his earpiece thingy for mp3...search the whole cp...but fun ah...tok and tok about football!! my bro is the best man!! haha....aniwaes, wanna do my maths lah..tata and love u dear..

2006-03-20T04:48:00.000-08:00

oh man....slept at dono wat time..three days never sleep..very tired...then yesterday nite slept at 1 am....oh man....so damn tired...went to skool with my darling....couldnt walk straight...my eyes were pushing out of the eye sockets...its that bad...very painful...well got back my test papers for a maths and english...alhamdullilah i passed them all...insyallah can pass the rest of my subjects...oh well hopefully...

after skool went to macdonalds and ate with the gang...syafiq house damn near sia and the two beroks azri and hairi had oc rehearsals and so, after eating, went back home all alone...not that i mind ah...but now abit scared sia to walk alone....talked with my girl for a while, thought about askin her to walk with me but see her enjoy with her friends, hati berat ah...i cannot be so sellfish...she has a life too...i realised dat a few days ago...

was waiting for the bus when lloyd and khairul accompanied me in the bus...thank god for them...if not it would have been so boring going home alone....aniways, i am insane ah....havent chat with her in a while...well she has been bz and not tokin to her is hell man for me...relax boy relax boy...i keep tellin myself.....haha...aniways, wanna sign off here...gd luck with ur lives and love u dear..

2006-03-19T04:07:00.000-08:00

yo yo...oh man....last day of the freakin holidays....omg....i am so moody, its over, its all over!!! the late nights....the long hours chattin, the long hours on the phone with my dear...its all over!!! skool is back!!!! damn it! the education system sucks man in singapore...too stressful sia!! and dis stupid skool! ri of the north konon! my ass lah!! ciao ci bai! so stressful! especially maths portfolio!! eh teachers! u think one week is alot of time ah? homework here homework there......one teacher say practice practice practice! another so kanchong wanna decorate the class...wtf? its gonna be stressful once skool start again...damn it...i wanna sleep at home untill 2 pm like now...its gonna be over soon, left onli a few more hours untill the gates of hell open for us to step inside...and my hair!! my tail!!! no!!!!! hopefully the teacher cock eye....aniwaes, i guess the opening of skool will give me the oppotunity to see her face everyday...thts not bad...not bad at all....well gonna get back all our results for our common tests....abit scary...history and all tht guaranteed passable...but physics, chem and A maths, i am not so sure.....hopefully, insyallah......aniwaes juz now got madrasah...before goin, i was like so bored coz madrasah is freakin slow!!! damn it! its very slow.....but then, madrasah was quite fun ah, the students are realy gettin comfortable with each other....so much fun, jokin around....tokin halal food...but then quite ok ah...well ok lah..gtg, wanna chat for the last time durin my holidays...tata..

2006-03-17T03:14:00.000-08:00

setiap insan diberi waktu,
di dunia dan di akhirat,
mengapa ini telah berlaku,
oh aku tidak tahu,

jangan melangkah dari masalah,
tabah untuk menempuhnya,
sisa hatimu akan ku cari,
untuk memberi hatiku kembali,

khayalan sempurna,
adalah bila bersamamu,
jangan kau pergi,
dari sisi,

jangan kau meninggalkanku,
tak akan ku membuatmu,
bersedih kecewa,
takkanku lupakannya,

tak akan ku mendustai,
sentiasa menghargai,
cinta kita,
takkan kembali...

oooohh

jangan kau meninggalkanku,
tak akan ku membuatmu,
bersedih kecewa,
takkanku lupakannya,

tak akan mendustai,
sentiasa menghargai,
cinta kita,
takkan kembali...

2006-03-16T23:23:00.000-08:00

wow woke up at 12.15 exactly!!! damn it man!!! i woke up and looked at the clock and said shit!!! omg i am late!!! well no chance of going to friday prayers on time....damn it!!!then decided to watch tv and watch cartoons....ayo so boring lah.....ate black pepper beef my mommy cook...hmmm sedap siak....then did my history hmwk...so tired, so many things to write....aniwaes i did my english, malay,history hmwk oleady....now wats left to do in three days is my chemistry hmwk, A maths and maths portfolio!! omg maths portfolio....i havent even touched it yet.....sho tired!!!! ah! damn it!! haha but must perservere.....i hope i can do all my hmwk on time...and thnks hairi for helping me yo! haha.....aniwaes untill now so groggy sey!! cannot tahan...slept at 3.30 am~!!!! omg!! spoke with my dear from 12 am to 3.30 am...waduh notin better to do siak...talking nonsence.....aniwaes thank u dear for keepin me company....nowadays feelin so fed up man....my parents wanna sell the house and downgrade.....no!!!!!!!!! oh well at least can make money hor....thinkin bout movin to yishun...near northpoint....but i love my house so much!!! well i guess everything happens for a reason...haha later become angah's neighbour....wow...not bad ah...so yishun pon yishun lor.....but so lazy to take mrt every mornin to go to school.....those of u taking mrt to school every mornin i salute u !!! i mean, me takin the bus to school oleady so lazy, later must take mrt...walan! like hell sia!!! ok lah this is where i end my speech....bye bye and love u dear olwaes!!

2006-03-16T07:28:00.000-08:00

helllloooooo there reader.....omg...so sleepy and tired!!! well today was such a fun day......
went to cp and watched movie with my friends and darling......the show damn slow sia...the ghost oso i dono where?? to tell u the truth, i was laughing and sleepin more than i was scared...my dear was seating beside me and she was like screaming!!! in my ear!!! haha nvr mind ah, music to my ears....aniway, so damn cold......lucky got sayang to make me HOT!!! haha, aniways i tell u guys out there kalau nak tngk movie jgn tengok dorm pasal the story was damn slow....i slept through the last part....okok then send my dear to mrt station and said farewell....the lowest point of my day was seeing her backside walkin away from me...haish...juz now met her now oleady missing her....haish...haha....then i took the bus home...was walkin under void deck when got three ppl quating down and against the wall, one girl and two boys all smokin and tokin loudly...so i juz ignored and walk past them...then one of the boys call me..." eh mat!" and i was like omg this cannot be happenin again....then i juz turn to him and he buat bodoh, as if notin happened...so i juz ignored it and continued ah...then he spoke again.."eh budak!!" then i was like this guy deserves a slap sia, so i walked backwards towards the guy and said to him ..."yer bang?? boleh saye bantu?? sori ah kalau abang nak carik pasal ngan saye, saye takder mood ah, nanti muker abang pecah nanti...then my two of my friends walked by and shoook hands with me, they all came back for playin soccer, then the guy i think kecot oleady and went back to his corner and so i went back home lor...then at arnd 7.30 went to yishun to take a look at three houses...maklomlah, org nak pindah...the houses were yuck! very dirty...who wanna buy!!???!! aniways then went to al-ameen and ate prata cheese!!! wooo!!! ok lah wanna sleep...tata and love u dear!! my singlet my darling, my xbox my hmm....ok lah lazy to write...bye bye...

2006-03-14T06:33:00.000-08:00

well now i am so fucked up, dono why i feel this way, i dono, these past few days have been hell for me,i think i am juz gonna stay at home and study till my brains go out, well quite dissapointed coz not goin anywhere: to whom it my concern.....promisses are meant to be broken but honouring ur words is becomin an ancient art...

2006-03-14T04:49:00.000-08:00

well had to go to school for class decor and chemistry lesson, miss hesley so kanchong sia, i bom her then she know...alemak...sori2 eeeeee, who wants to bom her sia...aniwaes, hairi had this idea of going to bugis to jalan2 ah, i was like yeah baby! i realy needed to get out of the house, i have been so alone these past few days...dono why lah...okok, so as usual went with hairi and faqih and memet and badron and mira and kamarul....so fun sia, went eating at a place i have forgotten the name, haha sori...hmm then went to bugis street to take a look at stuff...so damn tired sia, so many mats, well we walked around for a few hours and then decided to go to bugis...well, i was so damn tired and missed my darling the whole way, kept thinkin about spendin more time with her this holidays but .....haiyah...don have to say lah...okok so we were walkin and walkin and walkin and then me and memet went to the toilet to relief our sorrows...haha...then he was takin a long time to put on his beltso i went out of the toilet first....i saw the gang quite a distance from the toilet lookin at sunglasses at a shop....so i was goin to them when out of nowhere, this girl tapped my shoulders from behind....i thought she was askin for directions or somethin...but then she asked me...excuse me, can i have ur number?? i was like....is she tokin to me??? she giler or wat??? tak malu nye pompan....but of course i kembang abit ah...i thought she was chinese but then she added...kau dari maner?? and i juz answered i am from woodlands....then i juz stared at her face...she ask me again...ur number?? and she took out her phone...her friends behind were lookin at me intensely...then without thinkin twice i juz said...sori ah i cannot give u...then she asked me...u are attached ah?? i answered...yes i am very happy and i love my girl ah....then i juz said sori again and left to where my friends were....then went around and around bugis...then i decided my legs couldnt take it anymore and left with memet..he blanja me taxi ride..thnks man!!! went home and teros merebah on my bed...so damn tired...smsed my cyg a few hundred times but no reply...alemak so lonely...lonely, i'm mr lonely, i have nobody...haha wat the hell am i saying..okok now wanna chat with my dear...tata yall and thnks alot memet!!! brothers forever!!! love u too dear...

2006-03-13T04:52:00.000-08:00

feelin crapy today..firstly, my date was cancelled but hey, its ok ah actualy, i understand fully.....hmm...then i made plans with hairi....went to his house and played the xbox...with his brother !! so fun siak....play from 1 to 5.30 ....but tired siah when going home....well my house is quite near to hairi's ah, walking distance...okok back to wat happened, if u know me, i like to wear sunglasses, u know those vintage big types like s.jibeng lah...very practical wat, cover the whole of ur eyes from the sun...well i was walkin home near a coffee shop when i noticed a group of mats lookin at me....but i juz ignored them and walked by, then they called me..." EH BUDAK STEP HENSEM!!!" i was like wtf?? juz continued walkin when i heard one more shout..."EH CI BAI I AM TOKIN TO U!!!" ....i turned around and there were four of them standin up lookin at me....i was caarryin my beg full of books and papers, so berat sia.....then they stare at me, like want to eat me like that...i say to them...why not happy ah? then one of them replied..."EH LU HENSEM KAPA PAKAI GLASSES TU??? JGN STEP KAT SINI LAH EH!!!"......i was damn mad man...i then replied" lu punya hal kapa gua hensem?? apesal?? lu jeles kapa??....i then put my bag on the ground and act like gangster2 like that...then that same guy walked towards me clinching his fist...then i walk towards him lor and clinched my fist oso, then his friend came to him and dragged him by the arm and told him to stop...and said a few words softly...i couldnt hear...then he juz cursed out aloud and walked away...walan wat kind of gangster is that??? 4 ppl want to fite with one?? alemak...lucky never gadoh...scared sia...my stomach like want to burst like that..first time i kene kacau....lucky me...i was sweating like mad sia.....i juz picked up my bag and walked home, constantly lookin over my shoulders...seram seh...anyway wanna say i love u dear and miss u alot!!

v shape?? wats wrong with that??

2006-03-12T02:53:00.000-08:00

aite went to the barber shop to get a haircut yesterday....since its the holidays, i wanted to do somethin to my hair i never did before which is to cut the sides short and cut a steep v shape at the back....my mom screamed at me when i asked her about it....then as i was walking to the barber shop, i was thinkin to my self, v shape or no v shape, when i sat down on the chair those words just came out, uncle steep v shape at the back ah... the uncle just nodded...ok ok so there is a tail at the back, but not that long wat??? my mom saw my hair and blew out of control!!! i was tryin so hard to contain my laughter!!! haha!!!! so i juz took my towel and went to take a bath, thats when i saw my hair up close....i was like oh my god wat have i done!!! haha!!!! i wasnt thinkin straight i guess, went to madrasah today and the kids were like starring eventhough i had a songkok on....they saw my tail but luckily the ustazahs never say anything...phew....my mom asked me to repair my hair and cut it botak...but then i juz kept quiet and now she accepted it oleady..haha i want to try spike up my hair but then later become punk2....thats not me...oh well i juz wanna have fun this holiday...and try somethin new.....haha well gtg now...happy holidays and take care yall...and to u dear, love u and miss u..fingers crossed for tommorow haha!!!! bye2

5-4

2006-03-09T03:40:00.000-08:00

it was a hard fought victory for 3/7 as they battled their way to win a very tough 3/8 side...3/7 was stunned by the sheer power of 3/8 as they were clear favourites to win the game beforehand...goals from hairi, linxin,badron and a brace from ihsan ensured the 5-4 victory...

sialah aku takleh tahan sak tadi...sure sure we won but actually ah...full credit to the boys!!! especially lin xin a.k.a KAKA, u rock man!!!! dier lari macam babi kene potong ekor sak...betol nye laju...and the thing is, this guy is not solo, wat i mean is, yeah sure he will dribble and dribble but he always tries to find a team mate so as a team mate of urs, i salute u kaka....well hairi played well in defence while badron was a drogba in our team, he was awesome, juz simply gd, the way he positions himself, woooo power man!!!

well yeah i scored two goals but the thing is, i wanna thank my team mates for standin by each other, we made a few mistakes individualy but no one was mad, it was the kind of game where u hug and shake hands with each other after the game, there was no fightin, everyone had fun and to 3/8 well done guys, u were worthy opponents....

well i was runnin like a mad person when my right knee suddenly jammed and i mean it was numb, omg!!! i was scared to death, i felt my knee and juz carried on lah...the pain was excruciating but wanted to be macho mah...so juz continued...my girl stopped by, isnt she juz the best??? well the thing is that she was sick and her nose was like a waterfall, still she came and watched me...thank u dear...well the whole game was played under the hot sun!!! like hell sak...so fucking hot...haha..well after the game, i was walkin when i heard somethin crackin in my knee, the pain was gone, a miracle it was i tell ya...so happy!!! the boys went back to my house and played the x box...well they played while i was laying on my bed..a terrible headache...under the sun too long i guess...muahahaha sori guys for not playing halo with u guys, the graphics made me wanna puke, not because it was bad but because i was juz damn tired and couldnt think strait...hahaha so long never play soccer and when i finally did, i was gasping for air, so tired!!! omg!! but for my class i would do anythin, aniwae, juz wanna end off by thankin my team mates and our opponents, u gave us a gd fite man haha and 3/7 respect 3/8 haha!!! and to my dearest darlin who is sick rite now, insyallah u will get better realy soon cause i wanna take u out!!! haha well take care ppl and especially u nabilah bte abdul jalil!!! take ur medicine!!!

match preview

2006-03-08T04:30:00.000-08:00

hey yall wats happenin?? haha okok....well today was normal...we had A MATHS paper...to me ah so damn hard sia...tak leh angkat ah...then the whole day i was stoned lah...tak leh concentrate..

well i juz wanna tell u wats happenin tommorrow...not only tommorrow will be the last paper of the common test...but after skool, there will be a soccer match....3/7 vs 3/8....anybody who wants to watch or play will be welcomed...we juz wanna have fun yall!!! haha ....for me representing 3/7 will be a great honour....the smarts against the bodohs!!! haha juz playin 3/8.....dont get mad...haha well there will be a sports carnival in a short time...this will be a great time for 3/7 to train and get fit...eventhough ppl have tipped us as favourites to get gold in the sports carnival...i wont be so complacent ah...we have a very gd team mainly beacuse of LIN xin a.k.a KAKA...he doesnt run, he flies...so quick sia...i think he eat steroids or somethin..haha juz kiddin...i am lucky to be on the same side as him...well guys and girls do support us in the match...haha tata and gd nite yall..

...........

2006-03-07T06:36:00.000-08:00

dianugerahkan kegembiraan,
kemudian dihampa kesengsaraan,
aku tidak mengerti,
telahku buat salah terhadapmu??

semalam berasmara,
hari ini,
diganti kesedihan semula,
aku dilanda kebingungan,

mengapa kau bersayu,
aku berjalan keseorangan,
berat hati meninggalkanmu,
tetapi itulah yang engkau mahu,

tidak mahu ku mengganggu,
pendirian diri,
ada di tanganmu sendiri,
tidak bisa ku menukarnya,

ku hanya dapat membuka pintu,
engkau yg harus mengambil langkah,
jgn malu membuat yang benar,
jangan berani membuat yang salah,

berputar-putar kepala memusing,
mencari tempat kesalahan,
mungkin aku,
mungkin tidak,

tolonglah permaisuriku,
jangan membuatku begini,
cinta memerlukan dua tangan bertepuk,
jangan sampai hanya tanganku sahaja,

aku cintakanmu,
tidak mahu memarahimu,
tetapi demi percintaanku kepadamu,
terpaksa ku membuat sesuatu,

hanya tuhan sahaja dapat tahu,
ketibaan kau disisiku,
betapa berwarna-warninya duniaku,
tidak akan kau tahu,

ku hanya mahu membantu,
bukan membunuh,
dengan hati niat yang suci,
aku mencintaimu....

ape salahku????

2006-03-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

hey...have u ever felt like shit before??? like u never existed???

apakah salahku???
apa telah ku buat???
mengapa ku rasa begini??
ku merana keperitan..

telah ku berusaha,
demi percintaan kita,
telah ku mengerti,
kau lah segalanya,

tetapi kini kusedari,
apa yg dierti,
soal peribadi,
soal percintaan kita,

aku tahu,
tiada keistimewaan bagiku,
tetapi alangkah terperanjatnya,
pabila kau membuat bergitu,

aku marah dan sedih,
tetapi masihku sayangkanmu,
tidak mahu ku bebankanmu,
tapi mahu berkorban untuk mu,

ya...berkorban,
berkataan yg tidak wujud,
pada orang2 laen,
tidak dapat kau ngerti pengorbanan ku,

hendak ku katakan,
apa yang telahku buat,
demi sayangku pada mu,
tetapi membuang masa saja,

tidak tahu bagaimana,
hendak ku meluahkan,
kata2 marah kepadamu,
kerna itu bukan aku,

bukan aku,
untuk menjijikmu,
untuk membencimu,
oh apakah salahku???

masih ku merasa angkuh

2006-02-28T05:08:00.000-08:00

i cannot get this song out of my head!!!! ah!!!!! like shit man!!!! i think the boys think i crazy oleady cause i sing this song the whole fucking day....cannot concentrate in class sial.......ah...nvr mind....anyways..check out peterpan bintang di surga video at youtube.com...power!!!

bagai bintang di surga!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2006-02-27T01:02:00.000-08:00

hey yall.....wah today so sien ah, got back my maths test paper...failed siak....shit!!! must stay back and watch her stupid face...eeeeeeeeee!!!!!!

aniways, this morning went to school with her.....wah all the way so nervous sak....cause first period was english test mah....wah seh so nervous....well guys...those of u who took the test rite...,
he question on how many offsprings that one... wts ur answer ah??? 1 or 2??? if u got the answer...juz tag ah...bye2

weeeeeeeee

2006-02-25T23:43:00.000-08:00

hai today marks one month of our partnership and i tell ya, i cannot be more happi...thnks to farhana hu has created for me and nabilah our shared blog...pls visit it at www.boy-aku-bom-kau.blogspot.com

i love u so much dear..and thnks farhana again...

well i have grown an urge...an urge to hear peterpan songs...walan cannot stop...dono why

somethin is wrong with me...oh well have to study..tata and love u dear..

pop yeye

2006-02-24T01:35:00.000-08:00

hello there matey!!!! haha, crappin siak... oh well common test is next week!!! omg!!!! fuck! fuck!!!
havent study sak, maths portfolio, chem wksht, english compre and speech, all havent do!!!

i am so fucked up!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! die lerr like this, tak boleh tahan ah...!!!>..,,ll;,.,l

well its so hard to study cause everytime i study, my mind wonders about her...omg!!! wat is happenin??? am i gonna fail?? oh no!!!!! muz stop thinkin of her....impossible as it may seem.....but i will try at least untill i am done studiying...i love her so much!!!!! damn it!!!! cant help the way i feel!!!! ah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!